Single Again

Or technically separated, I guess, since I’m still married. Sigh.

Ben turned out to be, to put it mildly, a liar. An ever bigger liar than my husband, if you can imagine that. I don’t really want to go into the details of all the lies or how I found out. Let’s just say he lied about pretty much everything, got caught, and it’s over. I’m hurt and sad, because I really did love him, or who I thought he was, but mostly I’m upset that I was taken advantage of again. It’s like I have a sign on my forehead (or maybe over my heart?) that says, "Please, screw me over." I’m glad I held pieces of myself back, though. Otherwise I think I’d be a wreck.

Needless to say, my faith in men and love has been deeply shaken, not to mention my faith in humanity in general. I find myself questioning almost everything everyone says to me, because honestly, the last three people that I felt closest to turned out to be big fat fakes.

I have been talking with this guy Chris that I met on POF, back before I met Ben. We had gone out for coffee one Sunday morning, and sat and talked for hours. I felt pretty comfortable with him, but while we continued to chat via text mostly, he never really pursued it. He told me when I started dating Ben that he was interested, but that because he lives in Ocala and I’m all the way out here in Kissimmee, he didn’t think it was fair to try and start something. He wanted to wait until he moves out here permanantly. We continued our friendship, and he’s been great since I ended things with Ben. He made it clear that while he’s still interested in me, he wants to be the friend I need right now and will take his time to earn my trust. So, we shall see where that goes.

Well, the little one is getting fussy, so I’m heading out to fix her a bottle and try to get her down for a nap.