015. Unwelcome return to normalcy

I got catcalled today. It’s the first time in nearly three months.

Let’s backtrack a little. I feel as if I am starting the story in the middle.

I’m pretty. I’m not saying that to be annoying or arrogant. Certainly, my body isn’t anywhere close to model-perfect. I’m close to 65 pounds overweight, if you believe the BMI charts. My face isn’t spectacular either. I’m not quite up to “gorgeous”, if you get what I’m saying. But I’ll own up to pretty.

At work, I get many… compliments… I’m actually not very comfortable using that word for what happens, though I don’t know another to accurately sum-up the range of kind, unkind, and creepy things said to my face, and sometimes to my back. I work with the public, you see. You get all kinds.

The problem is, my inherent beauty (whatever there is of it) is not actually an asset in my line of work. People don’t take “pretty” security guards seriously. “Pretty” gets a nice pat on the head and an invitation to dinner, not serious compliance with instructions. So, I either have to use makeup and clothing to edge my way up closer to “knock-out” so that I become truly intimidating, or downplay it, and become more “professional”. Professional is easier and takes less time in the morning, so I usually go with that. Of course, that doesn’t stop the… compliments… I’ve gotten everything:

“Hello, gorgeous.” (standard)

“You have such wonderful eyebrows.” (weird)

“You’re too beautiful to be frowning so much.” (please shut up)

“Wow, they sure have some nice looking security here…” (…..)

“I would love to taste your lipstick. Can I?” (nooooo….)

“That ass though…” (big sigh)

And, that’s been my life. Basically, I go to work and get harassed. And then Covid happened. And the entire world got put on hold. It’s been a scary, weird, lonely couple of months. People were scared to get within 10 ft of us at work, much less 6 ft. And, suddenly, unexpectedly, all the harassment, all the pats on the shoulder, all the whispered comments… it all stopped.

But, today I got catcalled again.

People keep asking me when I think things will “return to normal”. Honestly, I think that it’s just about now.

Read more: Intro | Smoke Dragon: Ever Clearer | People in my life

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June 24, 2020

I’m sorry 🙁 I get catcalled a lot when I’m out jogging and walking around my neighborhood. It’s highly disturbing to me and it makes me a big ball of anxiety. I can’t imagine going through it every day, like you. I’m so sorry.

June 26, 2020

@soldis Sometimes it makes me anxious. Most of the time it makes me angry. Like, interact with me as a human being, or shut up. This is definitely not improving your chances with me, so I’m not sure why you’re doing it. Maybe one of these times I’ll ask.

I get pretty a lot also depends on how I feel on a Particular day if I feel the same. I would for the most part say I am pretty I have lost around 55 pounds so my pants are all to big…I lost a lot of weight in my bum,legs and tum but not my boobs I am afraid they are here with me to the end but long as I can fit into a sports bra I am happy. Since I lost the weight mostly due to being super sick around last Christmas I stoped eating junk food. I mostly eat breakfast or dinner but not both in one day.

Anyhow not the reason I was leaving a note I just read your entry. Thanks for the sweet notes after thinking about it I would have to agree with you I am more Particular if anything else. I also agree that there just is not another site like OD they have a way of making OD Members feel like friends there’s no judgement and I really love the layouts. I do wish they had some better fonts but I feel better everytime I come on here now. Anyhow I am sure you don’t want to be reading a book lol So until next time~Mermy

June 26, 2020

@mermycohea Glad you feel writing here helps!

June 25, 2020

I forgot to leave a note on this. I don’t have much to say. I’m sorry that it happens.

June 26, 2020

@heffay That’s alright. Sometimes I don’t know what to say either. *shrug*