You’re back, I’m dead.

I was heartbroken to discover Open Diary had been shut down. I have been using this site since the nineties I’m pretty sure. I’m getting old.

I don’t know what made me re type my search for you in Google yet I did, here I am. I’m glad I did… although I don’t believe I’ll stay long enough to pay to write my drivel.

You see, I died about three and a half maybe four years ago. My light went out and I began my journey through hell. I lost the love of my life and discovered satan incarnate. My life really started to spiral in 2009-2010. Here’s a quick overview chronologically:


•  My aunt Margaret passed away, I enlisted in the Air Force to get away from at the time boyfriend. Hoped to get into Histopathology/Cytotechnology.


• Nine days before my shipout date I was in a horrible car accident with my mother and at the time boyfriend that I was escaping to the military from(I was escapingand attempting to make something of myself- which hasn’t even happened to this day). I don’t even have a memory of the accident or 98% of my hospital stay or about a three month span after being released from hospital.

• I went to live with att boyfriend’s family bc I needed roundthebout care and I guess my mom couldn’t? I don’t know.

• I grew to hate them all.

September of 2011:

• 9/11 I broke it off, finally! He moved to Ohio, I to Orlando with my sister. I gave her the down payment on the home she was buying (with blood money won from car accident) so she let me stay cheap.

• 12/3 Was my first day working with my current job, now different location.

• A whole bunch of nothing but working a drinking myself to death for a couple years.

December of 2012:

• I meet a man inside of Rose&Crown at Disney’s Epcot. We even text that night after leaving. I cannot even recall what he looked like days after continuous texting. But I agree to come over to his house for a date. He cooks, we watch movies and he convinces me to stay the night and we fuck.

• That one night turned into a MAGICAL BDSM relationship. I’d never experienced anything like it before. He slowly, respectfully introduced me to new things. I loved most of it. He bought me dress up outfits and costumes and so many electrical toys and gadgets, some vintage! It was, like I’d said, magical.

• He moves into a rental home literally at the other end of the street from my sister and myself and has me move in with him, btw he’s getting divorced and has five kids, annnd he’s in the National Guard and has been oversea. At this time, he’s my, Captain, O’, Captain.

•2012-2014 We’re fucking through life, going to ‘The Shed’, legal sex club, in Orlando and private sex parties on weekends. I never participated but I saw some interesting things.

• I start getting jealous of him and his friendship with a hs sweetheart.

• I break my right foot July 12th? We break up in August.

• I live in a hotel bc while I lived with BDSM sex god my sister rents out her rooms. I’m struggling with everything, drinking, money.

All while holding down this job, though…

September of 2014:

• I meet a friend of my sister’s at our regular dive on pool night. We start talking.

• Talking leads to me sucking his dick which leads to verrry disappointing sex, even though he has a big dick.

• December 22nd 2014 We argue. He beats me. I have chipped teeth and bruises everywhere. I leave him and move back in with my sister as the roommates reach the end of their stay.

January 11th 2015:

• I wake up and immediately wonder when my last period was. I randomly take a pregnancy test and stare in shock at its results. I take another and another. They’re all screaming a horrific truth at me.

• Satan finds out I’m pregnant and stupidly on my part, convinces me to go back with him bc things will COMPLETELY different right??

My next entry will cover most if not the rest. It’s still hell though..





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August 14, 2018

It’s good to see you here, even if you don’t stay – sorry that your life has been difficult lately.

August 14, 2018

@thediarymaster  Thank you, it’s getting better but I think it’ll help to write through it. I have a question, can you only add a picture and edit profile with membership? I’m interested in possibly staying as seems reasonable to do so.

August 15, 2018

@snapshotmemories yes that’s correct – when you have a membership, you can add pictures to your entries.