bullfrogs and blowjobs

[]

i was playing with sawyer today and he was laughing, which meant i got a good look in his mouth. i was shocked to see three white spots on the top of his mouth. two of them are his “fangs” coming in. i thought “no, that can’t be!” i assumed i was just crazy and waited for daddy to get home. daddy confirmed my suspicions. the little man has THREE teeth coming on top. my mom was over today and she said i got teeth in a weird order too.

it just blows me away because the two he has took so long to come in and now he’s managed to work up three all at once. i guess i was right when i said he was going to get a bunch all at once. i just thought that was going to happen with his first teeth. apparently, it’s happening now instead.

that explains the sudden bouts of whining. i thought he might be teething but i just wasn’t sure. now i know. poor kid. last week, a cold and now, teething. i’m glad the cold seems to be over with.

in other news, he liked my stew. 🙂

JOKES…

ah, the irish

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, “Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?”

“No bother,” he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy’stwo stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.

“Hello dere girls, your Da’ sent me up here to shag ya both.”

“Your a liar!”, they said.

“I’ll prove it,” Murphy says.

So he shouts down the stairs, “Both of them, Paddy?”

“Of course, what’s the use of fuckin’ one?”

bullfrogs and blowjobs

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After

looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told

the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn’t want to spend a fortune.

“Well,” said the clerk, “I have a very large bullfrog. They say it’s been

trained to give blowjobs!”

“Blowjobs!” the woman replied.

“It hasn’t been proven but we have sold 30 of them this month,” he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it’s true. no

more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog and brought him home. When she

explained froggy’s ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans

flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

“What are you two doing at this hour?” she asked.

The husband replied, “If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone!

***