Fantasyland

Most days I’m happy being single. I lead a very full life and, for better or for worse, there is very little room for a partner. But there are some nights, like tonight, wherein I miss the reliable company of a steady lover. It’s really silly things that I fantasize about doing, too.

I would love to have a lazy Sunday morning laying in bed, passing my iPhone back and forth as we each try to reach five stars in Rock Band. Dorky? Yes. And I have no idea *why* I want to do it. It’s just one of those random little moments that I can’t get out of my head.

Even going around town to look at Christmas lights is entirely unappealing unless I have someone holding my hand while we ooh and ahh. I have been dying to drive down to Anaheim to watch the fireworks over the skies of Disneyland since I have missed the last several pyrotechnic holidays due to work obligations. But how much fun are fireworks when you’re alone? I’m sure I could find a friend to go, but I’d so much rather go with a date. I want to stand in the cool night air with his arms wrapped around me, leaning into his chest as we take in the Disney magic.

There are a ton of other little things that I’d like to do with a boyfriend. The local symphony orchestra provides free concerts that I’ve always wanted to attend. There is a tiny little theater I’ve always wanted to check out that shows old movies. There is a dive of a diner that I’ve always wanted to try. This city is rife with adventure; I just don’t want to go it alone.

I feel supremely nerdtastic for having such longings, but they exist. And maybe someday I’ll even have a chance to cross them off my list.

But for tonight I shall walk to the bar and drum up some conversation with the locals. Okay, scratch that. The place was already closed.

It’s just one of those nights.