Most days I’m happy being single. I lead a very full life and, for better or for worse, there is very little room for a partner. But there are some nights, like tonight, wherein I miss the reliable company of a steady lover. It’s really silly things that I fantasize about doing, too.

I would love to have a lazy Sunday morning laying in bed, passing my iPhone back and forth as we each try to reach five stars in Rock Band. Dorky? Yes. And I have no idea *why* I want to do it. It’s just one of those random little moments that I can’t get out of my head.

Even going around town to look at Christmas lights is entirely unappealing unless I have someone holding my hand while we ooh and ahh. I have been dying to drive down to Anaheim to watch the fireworks over the skies of Disneyland since I have missed the last several pyrotechnic holidays due to work obligations. But how much fun are fireworks when you’re alone? I’m sure I could find a friend to go, but I’d so much rather go with a date. I want to stand in the cool night air with his arms wrapped around me, leaning into his chest as we take in the Disney magic.

There are a ton of other little things that I’d like to do with a boyfriend. The local symphony orchestra provides free concerts that I’ve always wanted to attend. There is a tiny little theater I’ve always wanted to check out that shows old movies. There is a dive of a diner that I’ve always wanted to try. This city is rife with adventure; I just don’t want to go it alone.

I feel supremely nerdtastic for having such longings, but they exist. And maybe someday I’ll even have a chance to cross them off my list.

But for tonight I shall walk to the bar and drum up some conversation with the locals. Okay, scratch that. The place was already closed.

It’s just one of those nights.

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December 15, 2012

I would totally do those things with you. In a non-leaning-into-chest kind of way 🙂 My boyfriend is kind of a crowd/noise-phobe and it sucks. I know exactly how you feel. Hugs,

Yes. Completely and 100% can empathize with this.

December 16, 2012

I totally know how you feel. I want a man in my life to do all those “coupley” type things with. It’s little things like that that make single life a little sad.

December 16, 2012

Hey, nerdy is good.

RYN: I have all my albums set as private. It doesn’t guarantee that they’ll go unnoticed… but it does make a difference.

December 16, 2012


December 17, 2012

I get this. I sooooooo got this. This is me. Literally me. I thought i was super cool being single, and then out of nowhere i’d be all “I want to play mario with somebody and laugh when i beat the other person. it’s not fun by myself =[” even the christmas lights are lame when your person isn’t around. =/

December 17, 2012


I want to go to Magic Mountain .. I haven’t been there since I was a kid. I would ride the roller coasters, even though I am scared of heights. I went on one at Silverwood in Idaho a few years back and that was something for me. Anyways .. I can totally understand your need for a partner. I feel that some days .. and some days not. I do miss my ex wife very much and guess that’s why I like to have

her as a friend on OD here. I am pretty well destined to be single as I am not as adventurous as I once was.


I grew up in Huntington Beach in the 60/70’s and Dis-land (lots of pot) was our Friday hang out…live bands and the gondolas over the park were awesome. All good things in life are desired with hands held. And so see this in your future as you dance the dance of self-joy, discovery, and attentiveness. Damn it should always be fun.