what a week

So we all know how I’ve been on anti-seizure medicine ever since 2003, right?  Well, it turns out after about twenty-one-ish years those medications lose their effectiveness in a person and most people need to switch to a different medication or combination of medicines.

So I got put on new stuff, and it worked fine, but it needed a booster medication to really tackle the whole big variety of ways the charged-up-sparky-jello behind my eyes could find to malfunction and make me behave in less-than-optimal ways, and I had run out of said booster medication about a week ago and the pharmacy that I’ve been forced to switch to living here with my parents is run by an incompetent person/team of incompetent people and I had to go until today without it.

This forced me to relearn this neat trick I learned when I was going through something similar earlier in the whole process that’s been my brain-surgeried life.  I imagine that my brain is a slab of dough that I’m working with my optic nerves and I smear plant-based butter on it and sprinkle it with RAW (no bone-char used, please) sugar and cinnamon and roll it up and slice it into rounds and put those rounds into a baking pan so they’ll expand when baked and get all snuggly with each other and become an amazing fictitious dessert/breakfast in my mind.

It seems to force the angry weasel that I pretend is running the mechanism behind my eyes to focus on something else and not throw a fit.

Anyway, performing that trick is the epitome of exhausting and had left me completely drained for the past week.  I was just doing my best to not lose it and stay put in this apartment and do basically nothing but the dishes and watching nothingburger television.

But today I got more of the medicine that I need and now I have enough for the next six months.

I’m so relieved and glad to feel the stoned-ish-ness-but-really-it’s-just-how-I-feel-when-I’m-not-having-multi-focal seizures under the breath of my everyday neurological activity.

Christmas was quiet because we were just here at home because we’re doing the big family thing on the 31st.  That’s when I’ll see the kid and my grown siblings and their kids and just enjoy that whole family thingamajig.

I’m tired AF, so I’ma go brush my teeth then watch not-too-much-thought-involved content on this here ‘puter until I feel like laying down for the snoozing!