I can’t stop the feeling that the world as we knew it has disappeared forever. The last 4 days have been absolute chaos, with hints of more to come. I’m terrified.
It’s been a hellish day. Work is very hard at the moment, every client I speak to has a heart wrenching story to tell. I know I need to draw a line on emotional work baggage, but some stick with you. Working at home makes it harder to switch off too.
I ended up calling the doctor last week. I’ve never sought help for my mental health before, but for the first time in a long while I don’t feel like I have control over it. I’m at the mercy of my emotions and it’s exhausting. I’ve been referred for an assessment. No idea what that means, but the DR I spoke to offered me medication straight off the bat. I don’t really want to start taking medication for my mood – I know it’s necessary and essential for a lot of people – I just want to try and work this out on my own first. The main problem is that I have no life at the moment. We don’t go anywhere, or see anyone and it’s hard to stay positive.
I’ve got 2 weeks away from work soon, so hopefully that will help me rest and reset. I’ve not had a proper break this year, so hoping it will do me good.
I never planned on writing much tonight, but it seems to have all tumbled out. Sending lots of love to anyone that’s reading.