Good morning

Doing better, but still meh. Seems to be getting better, though i’m not “over it” by a long shot. I still have weak thoughts and moments. However, I am trying not to concentrate on that today. I have my interview. I will be getting ready for it here soon. I gotta try to get my head back in the mindset I’ll need to do this interview right. I need this job, cause at this point I’ll be broke AF and having to cancel a bunch of shit to make it. And I need to move, I cannot stay here. I’m not feeling the lifestyle they lead and I need my privacy. I cannot have that here, people always barge in the room I sleep in, it’s not really MY room, so no one knocks. Sometimes I like to cry alone, can’t always do that without risk of someone barging in. I don’t wanna to keep being asked “are you ok” when they know I am not. They mean well, but I seriously want to be left alone. I can’t think too far ahead of what my future will hold, especially in regards to my love life, but I do know that within a few months I will have my own place. I won’t get too much major furniture because when I can move back to NC I don’t wanna fool with trying to move that shit anywhere else or toss it. I just need my own place. I will get a tv with roku because I do not plan to get cable. I will have to get wifi though. I’ll figure that out when I get to it though. My mom doesn’t know her own wifi info, so I’ve had to use my phone as a hotspot to use my laptop. Xfinity does have a wifi system you can create an account for and pay for what you need. Like if i need an hour, a day, a week, or a month I can pay a flat fee up front. I mostly would need internet for school, but at least for now I have the option to use my phone wifi. I’m not on it all day so it doesn’t really drain my data too fast, which is a good thing. Plus I have rollover data.

So my interview is at 1 pm, I plan to leave here no later than 12:15 to be sure of getting there on time. I think I know what I wanna wear. I will have to take an uber, and thankfully it’s not too far. I think 10 mins from my house, and not too expensive to get there. If all goes well I will be starting training on my new job June 3. The sooner the better. They pay every 2 weeks, so at least I wouldn’t have too long of a wait before I have some money. What I have is dwindling so  I am using it sparingly. I’m trying to avoid using my credit card as much as possible. I plan to pay that down substantially over the next few months. I am throwing as much as I can in savings. I will help mom with some bills, but I am saving as much at a time as I can. I have plans…and they don’t involve living at home for the whole year. There are a couple places not too far from mom that I wanna check out, and the apt I used to live in, I wanna check them out too. They have gone up since I left, but about $85 more than what I was paying. Not too bad. I don’t like the apts my mom lives in, and they want 700 for a one bedroom. Nah..lol. They look nice outside, inside it just looks like they fixed it up just enough to get someone moved in.

So yeah, we shall see how today goes. I hate interviews, but I’m grateful to have one. This is the fastest I’ve ever found a job, and I’m gonna come back with this job. I’m looking forward for a reason to leave the house. I also need to save up for the BSB cruise I wanna go on……when they announce one haha. Well I shall get off of this thing and shower and start the process of getting ready for this interview. I wish it were more sunny, but hey no matter the weather, my ass is going out to get this job lol.

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