I Labored on Labor Day, lol

I had a nice 3 day weekend. I did spend a good chunk of it doing some homework. I got most of it done, that’s due tomorrow. I’m currently stuck on a lab assignment for Geology class. BTW I hate that class lol, but I will do my best to pass it lol. It’s boring, I don’t 100% understand what I’m reading, and the “lab” work is the bane of my existence right now lol. Anyway, other than that, school is going ok, just mentally tired AF. I had a ton of housework to do too. Got mom to sort through some of her clothes so she could toss what she doesn’t wear, and I’d wash the rest. It’s a process, but we are getting there.

So in my last entry I mentioned the passing of my grandpa. I didn’t really know him that well, I have met and talked to him. He seemed nice, but I know he was NOT a good father and most of his children distanced themselves from him. Especially after he hurt my grandmother, just going on stories passed down. However, I didn’t hate him. He is, after all, my grandfather. I do wish I had gotten to know him, and/or that my grandparents were able to stay happily married. It seems long and happy marriages are rare in this family. I have been told many times that the only reason they got married, is because she got pregnant. Back in their day, you had to get married  (shot gun weddings) if the girl was pregnant out of wedlock lol. Still, I’m glad we are all here. I just wish things were better in this family. So according to his wishes, he did not want services. So there will be no funeral. I wasn’t very close to him, so I’m not really able to “grieve” as much as some, but for my mom’s sake I felt I should be supportive. However, we were further informed that in his last wishes, he instructed his wife to not tell any of his children from multiple marriages, (14 from what i’ve heard) including my mom, aunts and uncles, that he was dead until after he was cremated. Why? Why would anyone do that? I’m not sure any of my other aunts/uncles know this yet, but my mom was told by a cousin. So this upset my mother, she’s sad for losing her father, but mad that his last wish was to keep his own kids in the dark about his death until it was too late. I think his wife thought better of it, and saved ass by letting us know. I know that if she had respected his wishes, my family would be pissed at her for burying him and not telling us. He wants to be cremated. One of my aunts was telling my mom (the day grandpa died) she felt nothing for him, so she wasn’t upset. My aunt has issues anyway, but damn that was harsh, good relationship or not. Then the very next day she posts on FB saying prayers for all her family, saying “I love you daddy” and all that. I”m like, ‘but you just said you didn’t give a shit, now what?” Hypocrite indeed, doing so for attention, or because it’s expected due to that being her father. She’s so full of shit lol. Anyway, mom took off for bereavement, but obviously won’t be going to a funeral. I’m so disappointed in him, but I won’t speak ill of him. I just hope that from this, my family can still stay somewhat together. We were more upset when my grandma passed, but we were all a lot closer to her, and they hated him for how he hurt my granny. So yeah, but I do want to say thank you to all of you who commented on my last entry with condolences, they are greatly appreciated. I will be praying that all affected are able to cope, some seemed more upset than other, but the shock of it all is still there.

Anyway, I am gonna get off this thing and eat. Maybe I’ll attempt some of my geology homework today, but I intend to finish up tomorrow after work.

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3 weeks ago

Sounds like a pretty complicated thing, in regards to your grandfather. He clearly had a way of pushing people away. I dunno.

Geology is super important. Gotta know about rocks and stuff. I hope you can get some rest and recover some of that mental energy