Maybe I should just do this

Just tell him my plans now so he can have something to look forward to. His bad mood affects my mood and I just can’t take it. If I wasn’t in such a financial bind, I’d go tonight. However, I know what would make me feel better, and that is leaving. That is my something to look forward to. I know my credit is bad, mainly because of lack of sufficient pay, but I wonder if I just went and talked to the apts here about my situation, maybe they could work with me. My rental history is great, I’ve only been late once in my entire life. I’m usually good at paying my bills. I know I’d need two paystubs from each job to prove income so it’ll take probably a month or more to get that. Also, I’d need to have money already saved up to handle the deposit and rent and any other expenses. With my credit I’d expect to pay the highest deposit allowed, for a one bedroom. I can at least get a quote from them on what to expect. I haven’t started my second job yet, so it’s gonna be at least a couple of months before o can start really saving. Right now I only have $50 saved. I really really hope I can get the stimulus check soon, if at all. That would help a lot. I do have a school refund expected sometime next month. That will help along with any money I can save from paychecks once I’m working both jobs. I’m also hoping to get a decent amount back in taxes when I file. That will help a lot also. I know it’s a stretch, but I’m praying that by April I can move forward and get away from here. I can’t stand this environment and I wish I had never come back. Rest assured though, that I will never let him back in ever. The stress would kill me because each time you go back, it’s worse. It’s bad enough as it is. When I think about all the red flags I’ve ignored the whole time I’ve known him, I could kick rocks with an open toed shoe. That would  feel better than having my heart stomped on constantly. So, I’ll give this new job a month so I better see where I’ll be financially. But no matter what, I am getting my shit together and leaving. So if I have to cut back on some things for a while, so be it. My sanity is worth more than anything I could buy just because. I deserve better, and I deserve to be happy and at peace. S will never get to steal that from me again. EVER!!!