The “I miss you” texts

Y’all know I still get those? I have a whole bunch of things I’ll share, but for this entry I’ll share the most recent. Soo last night I’m in my feelings and crying over the hurt I’ve endured. Not tears of missing him, but genuine hurt. Hurt I had to ignore while I was with him because I never could get him to be accountable. So I gave up and dealed with what I could until I could leave. Suppressing that pain hurt, now I can let it out living alone. It’s sucks.

Well this morning I’m sitting on my couch, in a considerably better mood, and I get this text. It says: “I miss your smile, laughing with you, your silliness, going to breakfast with you. I miss YOU!”  Of course I ignored it, but it made me mad AF. All of his texts do, all of them get ignored. Why does he do this? Does he think I’m gonna fall for that? He knows what he did, but won’t acknowledge it. That’s why I know that fake ass apology he gave  was full of shit. That text just made me think of all the reasons why I left.

It made me bring to mind every single thing he’s said or done that hurt. To know that none of that means a thing to him if he can come back with “I miss you” texts. He thinks I can just bounce back from the hurt and welcome him back. I know that if I was dumb enough to go back, he’d be love bombing the shit out of me for a while. I also know that eventually the real asshole will resurface. So because I know this, I know there is no way I can go back to that. He’s really been trying despite the fact that I ignore him completely. It’s going on 2 months since I moved out. I’m reminded everyday of how he acted right before I left. He wanted me gone ASAP because I broke up with him and was leaving and wouldn’t have sex. Why would I go back to that? Why would I give up what I have now, for him? I have peace in my own home. I have all the furniture I need. I’m not giving that up for him or anyone like him.

This right here, is why I said in my last entry is why I wanna block him. He’s just gonna keep trying and I don’t feel like being harassed. Ugh I wish he’d leave me TF alone. He’s lost any more chances. I can’t do it!

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September 30, 2021

I was with a guy for two years. On and off, on and off, because of his toxic behavior.

To this day, though my boyfriend currently is very handsome, this ex was the most gorgeous guy I’d ever been with. Unfortunately, he knew how attractive he was.

When he was in the mood to want me he would be poetic, romantic, loving, sexy. I would try to ignore him but he would send me so many texts on promises of the future and how wonderful I was. It melted me like butter. For TWO stupid years.

When he was bad he would ignore me for weeks at a time, always adding lots of girls on social media from tinder … you know just be a complete jerk.

We went official as a couple in February 2020. He got laid off from work and basically lived off of me and in my house and didn’t do shit to help around or help me out. Then one day in May 2020 I caught him on Tinder in bed next to me. I kicked his worthless ass to the curb.

He begged for me back. Very similarly in the way your ex is doing to you. I tore him to shreds with my words but still, he tries every six months to get me back. He is pathetic.

I’m happy that you know your worth. I’m happy you know he will always return to his true colors. Block him. I block my ex every time he comes into contact but he always gets a new phone number to talk to me. I’m proud of you – I know it’s hard.  Stay strong, SnS.

September 30, 2021

@queengloom this one took me thru so much. And we’d be off and on in the past. I left in 2019 but was stupid and came back. It did not get better. He will not get another chance to hurt me again.

thank you for your comment. It took me a long ass time to find myself again. I can’t go back to being unhappy.

November 4, 2021

Just checking in, hope all is well

November 6, 2021

@bronner hey! Thank yuu for checking in on me. I’m doing ok. It’s getting better as time passes. I have gone way too long without writing. I’m gonna try to get one written this weekend.