Y’all know I still get those? I have a whole bunch of things I’ll share, but for this entry I’ll share the most recent. Soo last night I’m in my feelings and crying over the hurt I’ve endured. Not tears of missing him, but genuine hurt. Hurt I had to ignore while I was with him because I never could get him to be accountable. So I gave up and dealed with what I could until I could leave. Suppressing that pain hurt, now I can let it out living alone. It’s sucks.
Well this morning I’m sitting on my couch, in a considerably better mood, and I get this text. It says: “I miss your smile, laughing with you, your silliness, going to breakfast with you. I miss YOU!” Of course I ignored it, but it made me mad AF. All of his texts do, all of them get ignored. Why does he do this? Does he think I’m gonna fall for that? He knows what he did, but won’t acknowledge it. That’s why I know that fake ass apology he gave was full of shit. That text just made me think of all the reasons why I left.
It made me bring to mind every single thing he’s said or done that hurt. To know that none of that means a thing to him if he can come back with “I miss you” texts. He thinks I can just bounce back from the hurt and welcome him back. I know that if I was dumb enough to go back, he’d be love bombing the shit out of me for a while. I also know that eventually the real asshole will resurface. So because I know this, I know there is no way I can go back to that. He’s really been trying despite the fact that I ignore him completely. It’s going on 2 months since I moved out. I’m reminded everyday of how he acted right before I left. He wanted me gone ASAP because I broke up with him and was leaving and wouldn’t have sex. Why would I go back to that? Why would I give up what I have now, for him? I have peace in my own home. I have all the furniture I need. I’m not giving that up for him or anyone like him.
This right here, is why I said in my last entry is why I wanna block him. He’s just gonna keep trying and I don’t feel like being harassed. Ugh I wish he’d leave me TF alone. He’s lost any more chances. I can’t do it!