Well good morning lol

I haven’t been writing much, most of it is laziness lol. Some of time time, I work 7 days a week, so most times I use my free time to relax. I also need to put in more apps, so that’s a plan for today. I put one in a couple days ago, hope to hear good news back soon. I hope to find a new job soon so I can finally quit working two, or at best quit working in that damn deli. I am tired of closing all the time. Life in general hasn’t been too bad, a lot of annoyance, but not bad lol. I can’t say I love my job, but I appreciate the fact that I have these jobs. I just need more money so I am not broke even tho I work 7 days a week lol.

Things with Anthony are going great. He’s been finding ways to spend more time with me. I think it’s cute. He met my mom last week, wasn’t necessarily planning it, but she was coming to visit and I didn’t wanna go a whole week and not see him. So some of those days he’d come visit before work and I cooked breakfast for him and mom. They got along pretty well, and mom says she likes him and that he seems like a decent guy. This past week I saw him pretty much everyday. I worked my second job yesterday (he works there too). He came to see me before work and hang. I would have gone to work with him (I would have been early) but that would have made me sit there for like 2 hours, so I opted to uber to work. He told me he would still wait for me after work so he could take me home (and he was scheduled off almost 2 hours earlier than me). So when he got off work he texted me that he would come back to me when it was time for me to leave. He was there waiting for me when I got off too. In the time between him and I getting off he had gone to the gym lol. He brought me home, we sat in the car for a few while he talked to his mom, then we went up to my apartment. He watched this anime cartoon he was showing me a couple weeks ago. I was never into anime, but this particular one is pretty funny, although weird lol. I think it’s called Saiko or something like that. Anyway, it was nice to sit and chill with him. Before he had to leave to go pick his brother up from work, we had this little talk. He told me how he really appreciates me and that he thinks I am a great person.

The only thing he’s really worried about, because he knows I really do like him, is the fact that he deals with anxiety and depression (which he takes meds for) and all the mood swings that come with that. I’ve dealt with that with my family, and although it can be really stressful to deal with at times, I never made them feel like they were annoying or whatever. I asked him if he thought I couldn’t handle that, that’s when he mentioned mood swings and stuff like that. I told him that as long as he doesn’t start treating me like shit and  purposely putting me down or whatever, I don’t see any issues with his issues. I told him that doesn’t make him a bad person, and that if he needed time to chill I could do that, and that I won’t be petty or anything of that nature because I don’t like drama. I would not want anyone to feel the way I’ve been made to feel by people in the past. I think he feels that if I saw the not so pretty side of who he is, it might scare me off. He has not once treated me bad, and I have seen some of the side of him, and as stressful as it seems, it wasn’t bad when I was able to think outside the box. I just give him his space when needed, because i know how he feels about me and he wouldn’t want to take frustrations out on me. 

Sometimes my anxiety or insecurities rise when he’s quiet or different some days and I overthink, but I don’t let it get the best of me. I know it’s not me he’s mad at, he’s just dealing with his emotions at times. I honestly think he’s really great and that with him I know I have to be patient and give him his space sometimes, and it’s not always about me. As much as I’d love to spend all my time with him, we do need our space. I told him that if we ever argue, I would rather not fight. I told him I don’t like to argue, and to talk to me so we can try to work out whatever it is. I’m not the petty type to say mean shit when I am mad or do anything that would hurt, stuff I can’t take back. He is sensitive some, and I would not wanna add to his stress whenever possible. He tries his best to not cause me stress and I appreciate it. I told him I appreciate him as well and all he’s done for me and that he has done a lot for me in the short time we’ve been talking. I told him he puts in real effort and makes it easy for me to be myself (which is what he tells me he wants me to be all the time) and that it’s why I like doing things for him. I told him that I actually enjoy cooking for him and that’s saying a lot because I generally do not like to cook that much. I do so because I have to, but for him it doesn’t seem like a chore. 

So we shall see how it goes, but it’s been a wonderful 4 months so far. Still not rushing it, because with him I know how he feels about me, but i know that anxiety can be a bitch, so we’ll just have talks along the way instead of trying to rush or pressure things. I don’t see things changing, and I hope they don’t anytime soon. I enjoy the time spent with him and I know he feels the same. As time has gone on, I see him more and more often. I even got to spend an entire day with him (at least until I have to go to work) and that was nice lol. He said he feels relaxed and comfy with me. We’ve even taken a couple of naps together lol. No one has treated me as well as this man, I hope that never goes away..


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