Life is progressing …
… along favourably. I continue to stay busy with many and varied outside activities, but my body is telling me to slow down and rest. I’m not a ‘do nothing’ kinda gal though, and my body knows that, and knows that it thrives on my adventures. I am so very fortunate that my health is stable, and I guess that’s why I notice so much when my body is trying to get my attention, and that it is sensitive to my emotional and mental state, as well as spiritual.
Since Thursday past, I have felt like a bug has been trying to find its way into my body. Very subtle, but enough for me to notice. Of course it’s that time of year that so many people are getting sick with colds and flu, and while I’m not superwoman against virus’s, I also believe that I can defend and protect myself against them …. without getting the flu shot … which I’m more on the fence about because of the last two years of being hit hard by that stupid bug.
I should backup one day to Wednesday, because I believe that’s when my body became susceptible to invaders. I had a full-on two-hour counselling session, and basically we determined that more time needs to be spent surrounding the experience of being molested by my grandfather. Maureen said that I disassociate from that experience, and that I have unprocessed memories, which EMDR will help to sort and allow my brain to process. I’m still in the ‘let’s see where this goes’ mindset. I’ve always acknowledged what happened to me, even though I’ve never really told anyone …. well, that is until the shit with Dad hit the fan, but that’s on a totally different level. Sigh ….. where I was going with this entry is that Wednesday’s session was heavy, emotional and just downright shitty … and since then, my body has felt weakened …. well, I am NOT going to allow any damn flu bug to get inside me. If I am going to put my emotional self through counselling, I also need to take care of my physical self, which means sleep, good food, and really listening to ALL of me and not putting myself in situations that compromise my healing. This isn’t going to be for the rest of my life …. I’m taking my Self on an adventure of recovering all the broken pieces …. with the guidance of someone who knows about the human psyche …. I just can’t do it anymore on my own.
Wow, just read back and can see confusion in my words, which pretty much sums it up …. I can do this