… and with an apology. It sounded sincere and of course I accepted because that’s how I roll, but also part of me misses him. He hasn’t changed though, but what’s more important is that I HAVE. As much as I miss my friend, the man who had me at hello, he drains me and I don’t like how I feel when we chat … in fact, I can feel myself protecting. He’s asked once to talk with voice and I totally ignored the question. I don’t want to. It would be like opening the door to someone who beat you up and said sorry, I won’t do it again, and you want to believe but deep down you know the truth. I have good memories of our friendship and how it blossomed into something more, and that’s where I stop because then our relationship went in a strange direction and while it felt challenging at the time, it was something for me to go through and learn sooooo hecken much. I am an Observer with him now … I listen and watch, and yes, probably judge … it’s good to find out that he can knock, and yet I won’t open the door.
Hmmmm …. for some reason it feels like a Huge shift or change is coming … kinda feel scared, but that’s not exactly the right word to describe …… On Guard!! That’s it!! I feel on guard … aware ……. my spidey senses are tingling ahahahahah that’s better!!!!! Not just with Russell either. With Everything around me …. Yes yes, this is very good to know … Thank You:)