July 20th Update

My brain right now is like a mess of toddlers trying to navigate a jungle gym – LOL.  So need to get a lot of feelings out!

  1. Health – After FINALLY kicking my post partum issues to the side – I get mastitis.  WTF.  So annoyed.  Good news, I caught it super early (Saturday), went to urgent care, and he prescribed antibiotics and I started taking them asap.  So I’m on Day 4 I suppose, and it’s already pretty much gone.  But let me tell you – anything regarding your breast is going to be scary.  Especially when you have a big lump and it’s red!  Again, it’s practically gone – but it hurt and was just uncomfortable.  Feels like the post-partum issues are just never ending.
  2. My job – quite frankly, I’m pissed.  I work a base + commission job, the biggest portion of our salary is base which is a good thing.  But my first month back after I HAVE A FREAKIN’ BABY, my leadership team a) tells me I’m kicking off a brand new team in our office in August… uh.. k… and b) gives me a “bad news bears” team this July.  We have sales goals we need to hit as managers, and my team is shitting the mother f***ing bed, not only that, but I had someone put in their 2 weeks and is purposefully tanking deals right now.  So it’s HIGHLY LIKELY I won’t make commission this month.  WT Actual F.  How can you do that to someone just getting back from maternity leave?  Honestly.  It’s super f***ed up and I’m livid.  Again, another situation where I get punished for being good.  This will be a great indicator that I need to peace out.
  3. Mother in Law – she is here right now because I was supposed to be at a conference out of state (insert mastitis, eye roll) and it’s been fine but also a little bit of a roller coaster.  For example – tonight she knocked on a cardboard box, playing with Tarin, and the dogs started barking while Kesley was asleep.   I kind of looked at her but not in a way where I was trying to offend her, just – shhhh!  And she started crying.  “I keep making mistakes!!!”  I don’t know where she got that.  Seems like we can’t get through a trip with her without at least one outburst or fit.  Here’s the thing though– I’ve never been super fond of her, because she has some serious mental / insecurity issues that have been tough to have a good relationship with her.  HOWEVER,  I watched my mom my whole life shit on my grandma, her mother in law, so this is CLEARLY learned behavior.  I need to watch it.  Another little thing though is she’s a little rough with Tarin – another example, on her first day here he was kind of yelling, being loud (I mean, he’s 2) and she like forcefully grabbed him.  I was taken aback.  But it makes a lot of sense why Michael gets so angry . And she scolds Tarin a lot.  “we can’t play if you are loud.”  “That’s not for you.”  She can be a little forceful which is different for me.  Anyway.  Some of Michaels’ behaviors (he’s not even close to what she can be, lol) make sense sometimes.

Anyway – that’s about it.  I’m so ready to be in our new house.  Still have about 3 weeks.  I’m so far behind with everything required to move.   Hope ya’ll are surviving this heat wave!  Damn!  Haha

Much love,


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