July 20th Update
My brain right now is like a mess of toddlers trying to navigate a jungle gym – LOL. So need to get a lot of feelings out!
- Health – After FINALLY kicking my post partum issues to the side – I get mastitis. WTF. So annoyed. Good news, I caught it super early (Saturday), went to urgent care, and he prescribed antibiotics and I started taking them asap. So I’m on Day 4 I suppose, and it’s already pretty much gone. But let me tell you – anything regarding your breast is going to be scary. Especially when you have a big lump and it’s red! Again, it’s practically gone – but it hurt and was just uncomfortable. Feels like the post-partum issues are just never ending.
- My job – quite frankly, I’m pissed. I work a base + commission job, the biggest portion of our salary is base which is a good thing. But my first month back after I HAVE A FREAKIN’ BABY, my leadership team a) tells me I’m kicking off a brand new team in our office in August… uh.. k… and b) gives me a “bad news bears” team this July. We have sales goals we need to hit as managers, and my team is shitting the mother f***ing bed, not only that, but I had someone put in their 2 weeks and is purposefully tanking deals right now. So it’s HIGHLY LIKELY I won’t make commission this month. WT Actual F. How can you do that to someone just getting back from maternity leave? Honestly. It’s super f***ed up and I’m livid. Again, another situation where I get punished for being good. This will be a great indicator that I need to peace out.
- Mother in Law – she is here right now because I was supposed to be at a conference out of state (insert mastitis, eye roll) and it’s been fine but also a little bit of a roller coaster. For example – tonight she knocked on a cardboard box, playing with Tarin, and the dogs started barking while Kesley was asleep. I kind of looked at her but not in a way where I was trying to offend her, just – shhhh! And she started crying. “I keep making mistakes!!!” I don’t know where she got that. Seems like we can’t get through a trip with her without at least one outburst or fit. Here’s the thing though– I’ve never been super fond of her, because she has some serious mental / insecurity issues that have been tough to have a good relationship with her. HOWEVER, I watched my mom my whole life shit on my grandma, her mother in law, so this is CLEARLY learned behavior. I need to watch it. Another little thing though is she’s a little rough with Tarin – another example, on her first day here he was kind of yelling, being loud (I mean, he’s 2) and she like forcefully grabbed him. I was taken aback. But it makes a lot of sense why Michael gets so angry . And she scolds Tarin a lot. “we can’t play if you are loud.” “That’s not for you.” She can be a little forceful which is different for me. Anyway. Some of Michaels’ behaviors (he’s not even close to what she can be, lol) make sense sometimes.
Anyway – that’s about it. I’m so ready to be in our new house. Still have about 3 weeks. I’m so far behind with everything required to move. Hope ya’ll are surviving this heat wave! Damn! Haha
Much love,
~Elle