Oh well…

So I cna’t communitcate…. it was put to me again by my counselfor.  It’s nice to finally have a ckounselor who whilly is hittih n on topes that are clse to home… That makc sense.  She has brough forth more issues to me in just a few session thatn all o f mny years combinded.  I" can’t commujcicate… I athink that I can. but it twllsm it deonms’t get through….It happns at ork, with hapens at home.  it happense everywhere.  I cnat  communicnace.  I need ot rofigure out why buy can cant..  LIke Kjnow i’m trying buy I"m too drunk to type.     It all came apparten totday when I tried to talket ot my ex/spearated wife.  same old barriers were up.  Wht the h barries are I dont    now.  Just seems to happen.  Neeed to doeal with thatif I im ever  to figure out me.  untill then, I"m still just craxy adnangry.  I"m trying to talk and opem up. nut it ddoen’st go well.  It seems as soon as an opening in seen by people, thye jump right in and start to push me even more and forced me top shut down.  Wasn’t quite as angrey, but I see the side of this problem yhay isn’ya ll mine.  Just nened to call her out on it, but I don’t.  Just hide it in aGAIN.    Oh I’ll lget my chance.  I hope I do.  I need to break out and see where the fuck I am.

An "n atlaking to ol friends.  I don’t care what she says.  I thihk the cure to al ot of issius is dfixing people abndoned thur the years.  Need to correcr and undertsandt those first a nd see where they fit in.  I think it’a ll goof..

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March 5, 2009

wow that was hard to read HAHA…I thought you were playing on the “inability to communicate” until I got to the drunk part hehe….um…if shes your ex, arent those barriers there for a reason?