THREE POEMS DEALING WITH MY OWN DEATH

THREE POEMS DEALING WITH MY OWN DEATH

i.

I am praying for a rare condition
that no one has ever heard of
Some funnily named thing
that no one you talk to can pronounce
Some thieving, stealthy disorder
that robs you of me in my sleep
so that I don’t have to do it myself
It’s the only way I can think of to leave
where you can’t be mad at me
How it will appear to you:
Pain in the rearview mirror
Death at the wheel
Helpless passenger, full of peace

 ii.

Like Werther translating Ossian
for a girl he’ll never have,
I’ve written out my sorrows
into chapters of disenchantment
that you’ll never read
And now I want nothing more
than to rend the pages
of this blue, blue era
from the stitching of the binding
Knowing that when I finally do,
the spine will cave in
but the covers will applaud

iii.

I remember my daughter at 4
once telling me solemnly,
“Even shadows have birthdays.”
I can still hear myself responding,
“Even shadows & ghosts
have their days of significance.
Don’t forget them, baby girl,
but don’t honor them
with too much of your sadness or time.”
I say this fully knowing one day
I will be one. But
I have never wanted to be a solar eclipse
when you are the sun.

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December 7, 2019

These are very well written. I don’t really know what else to say. They are sad to think about. I like you alive.

December 7, 2019

My favorite is the first one.

December 8, 2019

You are truly so talented. I wish I was an eloquent writer like you. At least when you make it big I can scream “that’s my bae!” Love ya❤

December 8, 2019

You have a gift for accurately conveying your emotions through intricate imagery — as well imbuing deep sorrow with great beauty. And I hope you will be around to keep penning such poems for many years to come!

Oh, and as I’ve said before, your entries always raise my cultural awareness/IQ. I was compelled to learn more about Ossian, which naturally led to me beholding (via online images) many grand works of art inspired by the epic poetry.