Book Worm, Bad Mom

I have been reading for hours and hours the past few days. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a book that I couldn’t put down. I feel like a bad mother because I’ve been so engrossed in my book that I haven’t played with my baby as much as I usually do. Last night when I was trying to put her to bed I was holding her and rocking her with my left arm and trying to read my kindle with right hand. My daughter did not like that because she started smacking me in the face with her tiny little hands. I was like she was saying, “stop reading and look at me!”. I started cracking up because it was so unexpected and somehow cute. I put my kindle down and just snuggled her for a while after that.

It really made me think about how babies today have to compete with cell phones and other electronic devices for their parents attention. It’s easy to be on my phone when I feed my baby or put her on the floor with some toys while I read on my kindle. Considering the fact that she’s only 11 months old and an only child, I have felt so guilty the past few days. Because of this stupid pandemic, my normal outings and social gatherings are few and far between which also means that my daughter is not around other kids much. I’m her only friend and entertainment most days. It makes me sad to think about how often my daughter sees the side of face because I’m looking at my phone instead of her. My husband and I are going to have to make a pact and plan about when it’s okay to be on phones and when its not. I’m going to have to start leaving my phone upstairs during play times and meal times so that I don’t get sidetracked. I really don’t want my baby to think my electronics are more important than her.

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January 18, 2022

I see my daughter and son in law constantly on their phones. The 9 year old will call them out and mom puts her phone down but dad keeps on playing his games or whatever. Even at 1 mo old it sounds like she already senses the slit attention. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything. 😎

January 18, 2022

^split attention