Crippling Fear of the Unknown

I hate and love trying new things. Trying a new food. Oh hell yeah. But when it comes to tasks, I am both excited to learn and paralyzed with the thought that I might not catch on quickly enough or just fail completely. Would I even be Brittney if I couldn’t do it? Who am I?

I woke up late again. Seems like every morning I set my alarm for 5:00 with good intentions and I end up hitting snooze until 6:30. This leaves me with no time to shower. The matter at hand this morning – was I was out of clean pants. I hadn’t shaved in almost a week and I can’t wear a dress without shaving my legs! So I swung my legs over the tub and did the quickest job you ever did see.

I have a ride to set up this morning that I am not excited to do. I don’t understand her insurance, and don’t believe she has left for any appointments from here yet, and I have to call the daughter to see if she is going with and I don’t know how to properly say her name. This does not sound like and end of the world problem … But inside my head it is.

It has to be done, so I know I will do it, but I will try anything to put it off as long as possible. Like, oh, I don’t want to call anyone and wake them up before 10. Then at 10 I will find some other task that I should do first, and then it will be lunch time so I wont want to bother anyone. I should just shut up and do it. Procrastinators of the world unite … tomorrow.

Ashley keeps coming to work late. She told me this morning she set 18 alarms and was just going to stay up all night but she only made it to 4 AM. It’s frustrating.

My bosses last day is in 9 days. My mom and I went out on Saturday morning and bought her some of her favorite coffee and a big bag of starbursts which she once in passing told me was her favorite candy.

The gal taking Amy’s job was supposed to start today – and then Amy would move into Dawns old job so I could go back to just doing my job … but she got put off in orientation so I have to wait longer. At least this job gets me pushing passed my comfort zone.

Almost 10:00AM … I am gonna do it.

After a cigarette.

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September 17, 2019

So did you do it?  or did you procrastinate again?

September 17, 2019

@jaythesmartone I called the daughter but she didn’t answer. I left a message. I have to hear from her before I can set up the ride.

September 17, 2019

You sound like me in this. Well not the part about shaving your legs. But the worries and concerns, I do the same thing. I think about it too much and then I come up with excuses to delay.

It’s a nice, simple gesture getting a present for your boss. It’ll mean a lot, especially you remembering the starburst thing.

September 17, 2019

@heffay It all worked out really well in the end. The daughter called me back and she was going to drive her to the appointment herself so I didn’t have to fiddle with insurance issues and blah blah. Winning!