Aging Parents – Mom has a “note!”

Holiday’s went very smoothly including the gathering at the skilled nursing facility that my father-in-law was living at that weekend. All gatherings progressed with peace and harmony. Seriously, Hubby and I had so much fun! The best for us was the start of our Christmas weekend on Friday Dec 28 with a hilarious inappropriate white-elephant gift exchange and game night with us and our kids’ friends (most of whom are also our friends and have been on vacation with us over the years!) Even my sister attended that evening!!!!!! And our son was there!!!! We had not seen him since November 2017!

Hubby’s dad is not doing well. He has recently changed residences and doctors, and nothing is working so far. His oldest son, my brother-in-law, may not be the best help for him, but for now Hubby and I must stay silent.

Today I had to piss my dementia mother off. I got word that she had fallen this afternoon upon returning to her room after walking on her own to the church service in the independent-living building next door to where she now lives in assisted-living. My sister had asked me last night if we were paying for “standby assist” which means that Mom can/should ask for someone to walk with her to anywhere – especially long walks such as to the next building. I told Sis last night that yes, we are paying for that and that Mom should definitely ask for that.

This afternoon I talked to Mom about her fall and what had happened. I had received word that she had fallen and had hit her head. The staff had checked her and said she was fine. Mom of course did not report this to my Sis or me. So, I called in a scolding mode to remind her that we are paying extra for the “service” of someone to walk with her anytime/anywhere and that she should definitely use this service.

Mom said she had a “note” to say she did not need this help. After going around and around about this for lots of minutes, my frustrated mom said with emphasis: “I am going to STOP TALKING AND WALK WITH MY WALKER OVER TO MY COUNTER TO READ THAT NOTE!”

At this point I put my cell phone on both speaker and mute to tell Hubby what was happening, so he heard her shuffle to her counter and heard her read very proudly and defiantly (at first)


P**** MUST BE ….


MUST BE accompanied by a staff member when walking outside the building.

Oh!” Me: Mom that is what I have been saying.

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January 7, 2019

I’m glad she finally saw it your way 🙂

February 7, 2019

I hope your Mom,continues now, to adhere to this “rule.” It’s hard to get old, but, when old, one must be careful. She also should realize you love and care about her, so you want her to be safe!!!

February 17, 2019

@butterfly4him Mom will never adhere to rules. She either does not understand them (best case scenario) or usually just can’t remember them.