Is this “normal”?

๐Ÿ˜• For some reason, I keep thinking about someone I dated for a few months, (could be known as a high school sweetheart, however we were long distance and I would see them every weekend thanks to my mom who had a car. We were allowed to sleep in the same bed. Why? I don’t know. Kinda blows my mind thinking back) and… I’m basically just wanting to see if they are alive. I don’t believe they used social media when we were kids. We met on AOL chat (lol oh, back in those weird days)โ€ฆ I just want to know that he’s doing well. Maybe he has a family! I only have a few actual people I’ve dated that I’ve felt a connection with and he was one of the firsts. However, I’m stuck… His name is so common it’s ridiculous (lol).

So many people I’ve known over the years are now deceased, by their own actions or by those of others. I hope he’s still around… He was such a kind person, and knew sign language fluently because his dad was deaf. His dad never liked me… I think he thought I was beneath his handsome and charming son… or something… lol I’m just assuming. He really didn’t like me though. ๐Ÿ˜… (probably for good reason, tbh. I was a little twatwaffle back in the day)

I am incredible grateful for those who have left comments. I’m sorry I haven’t responded back. I have no excuse as to why I haven’t, I just can’t make myself dive deeper into it… I’ll make a good attempt at responding! However – I really do appreciate your feedback. I appreciate you taking the time to write that to me and it’s comments that are meaningful that make me come back to OpenDiary. I’ve done this before, started a blog, journal, or even one of those “help sites” where you communicate with other people who are facing similar mental health crises’ but none have really stuck so it’s nice to… Well, be here – at least, for now lol.


Anyway, I’m just overwhelmed at the moment.ย ๐Ÿ˜“

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Go for it. I think it normal to want to find someone from our past. AT MY AGE hard to find many of them on Facebook.

July 7, 2021

@skobru His name is so common – I really don’t think I’ll be able to find him, unfortunately. I dunno how far is too far to try and look but… bleh. I feel like thisย  will become something I’ll forever think about lol. In any case, it’s nice to just write about it lol.

@tiffah I had that experience. If you look on FB look for his FACE in the photo. I know too that sometimes we want to contact or know something about someone but fear what we may find as well. Yes writing about it is good. Get it out there and nobody here knows your true ID so you are most likely safe. I realized I don’t care if anyone knows my real name here (no big secrets spilled or backs stabbed)


July 7, 2021

@skobru I’m like that as well when it comes to having your name out there and what-not. Tbh, I’m a pretty unremarkable person and I don’t care who knows what about me at this point in my life… I’ve always just stayed to myself, so I don’t care lol.ย ๐Ÿ˜†

@tiffah people know about my drug and alcohol use. No sexual perversions. I find most people boring and I am probably that way to them These days so yeah I get you๐Ÿ˜Ž

July 7, 2021

it is indeed hard to forget your first love.