Timmy

October 7, 2003

Next: Nope, Still Haven’t Started The Program.

ARNOLD Bent On World Domination.

(TOTAL RECALL, CALIFORNIA) Terminating his opposition with witty slogans, a witty slogan, and blatantly homosexual behavior, ARNOLD has powered his way to the position of Governor of Cali-For-Ni-A. Without even so much as an swearing in, ARNOLD made it early in the evening hours that he had set his sights higher than simply ruling one of the largest states in the union.

“Das Aryans vil rule da vorld. I vil crush da opposition with my bare hands. You puny humans have no chance to stop me. I am ARNOLD. GET DOWN and vote for me. I vil crush dissident like das bugs. You are a molecule and I am an ah-dom bomb and I will spread your quarks throughout da galaxy.”

Republican figurehead Bob Dole was appauled, yet relieved, to learn of Arnold’s massive lead in recall vote. “I gotta say that I was afraid some actual politician might replace me as the funniest Republican there is. But Arnold is about as non-political as you can get. I expect him to be a slightly more intelligent George Bush. Of course, that’s not really saying much.” When asked about Arnold’s plan for world domination, Dole responded, “I think he’s starred too many movies where he saves the world. I think the less in the news you are, as a President, the better a job you’re doing. On the plus side, Arnold might make a lot of youngsters decided to become Republican. Then again, he might also convinced a lot of youngsters to take over the world.”

Arnold was actually asked about how he feels about his Republicanness. “Vat is Vepublican? I say I vant to take over da vorld and des guys with black suits and lots of money show up at my door. Arnold steal der money and take over da vorld.”

Campaign manager Johnny Cochrane was on hand to answer questions about Arnold’s quest for world domination. “Well, you see, it works like this. This state was in a huge deficit. And, of course, the governor is directly responsible for such things. That is why Arnold is now DASGOVERNATOR. 46 other states have deficits. Therefore, Arnold should also be DASGOVERNATOR of those states. The United States itself has a huge deficit, therefore Arnold should be DASPRESIDATOR. There are poor all over the world. Therefore, ARNOLD should rule the world. What’s so hard to understand about that? All your government are belong to ARNOLD. You have no chance to live out your term. Make your recall. Move vote, you know what you doing. Take off every chad, for great justice.”

vividthoughts

LMAO. Arnold is a joke. but whatever. whatever floats his boat. i kinda wished the female won. that would have been good.

JB in WA

It’s great fun reading about these events in the news.

I love your last sentences. They’re great. I think you should run. I’ll vote for you. Well, not yet because i’m still not 18, but when I turn 18 i’ll vote for you.

thats funny.

Kelly

October 8, 2003

I wonder why I even wasted my time reading all of the news on the stupid Governorship in California. Call me uninformed, but I still haven’t figured out what the shit it would have to do with me, yet somehow, I had to read about it everywhere I went.

*shrugs* They have been worse people elected to public office, so I’m not going to judge him until he’s been in office and we all see what he can do. What’s the point otherwise, proving ourselves right in our predetermined opinions, or proving ourselves wrong? <3

!Guero

you are insane. I love it

'Rella

The Governator. I weep for the future. Be well,

Yup, I live in California, right by Sacramento, it’s a joke. But, I wouldn’t leave California for all it’s worth in the world!!! I love it here 🙂

Don’t worry, Dole be back.

lol…my foot, but WHYYYYYYY? hehe, never had it on my foot before. *farts on your leg* id uh, return your favor, but i havent mastered the aiming thing yet o.O

Pham

If Chewbacca is a wookie, you must vote to elect Das Terminatah. If Chewbacca is a wookie who lives on Endor, I make no sense! California has suddenly become terribly interesting.

Ha. I don’t really think that Ah-nold will make a bad governor. A lot of the things he believes in, like changes in immigration policies, are supported by a majority of legal citizens. But who knows? I didn’t think Bush would be that bad, either.

Lover of Stars

This is really funny and also horrifying at the same time. I think I should have voted/maybe. Your diary disturbs me…and yet I read it. *ponders*

wingèd medusa

What happen!

“I AM HERE TO KILL GRAY DAVIS”.

ShatteredSoul

you know, technically, it is being proposed in the senate that no longer do you have to be born in the US to be president, but you simply have to have lived been a citizen for 20 years. guess who’s been a citizen for twenty years? that’s right, our friend… arnold.

Alright, I’m gonna get bashed for this one, but I’m going to say it anyways. STATISTICALLY it is single women who are spitting out massive ammounts of children. Women that are in a relationship but not married. Women that are too damn stupid to use the gov’t resources given to them already and take the damn pill. After one “mistake” the gov’t offers them birth control options. (C)

…I just can’t understand someone thinking “well, I can get the pill/shot/patch for free, and a giant bag of condoms for free, I’m gonna not take them up on it and hope for the best.” It’s rediculous! ARGH! (Yes, this is my biggest pet peeve when it comes to wasted gov’t resources, women who can’t keep their legs closed and/or don’t understand birth control only works if you use it.) <3

.:giggles uncontrollably:. It just seems so WRONG

*ryn* You should see some of the ones I got coming! hehe

Scorpio Frost

Enh. *shrugs*

ryn: wow, and it was a perfect explanation, too!

RYN: Yeah, I just thought “The Baron” had that 18th century Harlequin romance novel machismo. “Isabella gasped as The Baron threw back his cloak, revealing his massive sidearm, and his gun too.” I like Bang Bang too. It makes me chortle.

RYNagain: “I’m definitely a strong R. It’s rare I delve into X, though I’m sure I do at times.” I tried to describe it without being X rated, and realized it was only going to squeak by as R rated if I didn’t actually mention any of the sex. I’m a dirty girl.

yankeedoodlegirl

October 9, 2003

And resistance is FUTILE… lol.. 😉

January 24, 2004

Hey, by the way, what do you think of the fact he won? 🙂