Dear OD,

I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m void of a life because I’m posting such repetitive things. I was joking with Candi that if you ran across someone’s online diary and saw nothing but Sims posts, you’d think, “Wow, this person plays Sims a lot. They must have no life.” Same thing with all my exercise-related entries. I suppose I’ve been getting lazy with writing out my own interior monologue. I do try to keep up with annotating the little details of life in the preface and epilogue of my exerbabble entries. The entire reason I started writing shit down in my diary all those years ago was to remember.

Isn’t it nice to look back and say, “Wow, look at all that stuff I did.” I like looking at my box of notecards where I write down all my workouts. That’s a LOT of workouts I’ve accumulated. It puts things in perspective for the days when I decide to miss a workout. It’s not a big deal, not a huge catastrophe.

But anyway, interior monologue. So much of my writing lately has been just recaps and detail annotations. Which is great, but my favorite entries are always the ones where I’m just kind of going. I suppose I’ve been so busy that I’ve gotten away from that. I don’t know, do I come across as cognitive in my entries? Does that, as a question, even make sense?

I know what I mean.

I think I just had that moment where I realized just how engrained posting on some internet website is. I don’t even give it a second thought. When people talk about how difficult it is to remember to post, I think, “How can you not?” Though, I admittedly, I used to post a LOT more. According to the entrycalendar, I posted 806 entries in 2006. Eight hundred and six. That’s over two posts a day! In contrast, I posted 357 entries in 2008.

I was talking to Candi about the Big Picture. I’ll be finishing school soon, and I am feeling a little unsure of what to do with myself. Also feeling, “What am I doing with my life?” I have a girlfriend I’ve been dating for almost 7 months. I’m a shift manager at a local fast food restaurant, and definitely considered responsible by my assistant manager and general manager. Hey, management experience is management experience. I enjoy it for the most part. I will have my two year degree in a field of my own choosing NOT because anything career-wise, but because I wanted to EDUCATE myself for my OWN satisfaction. I’ve paid off my car loan, which is bigger load off my mind than I realized. I am NOT in debt, though I suppose I ‘owe’ my dad some money. I exercise regularly and am very interested in taking care of myself. I have friends who are still loyal even if we don’t speak for months at a time. Dude, I own a car.

Things I tell myself to remind myself of how good life is. I’m still quite uncertain, but I have to keep the Big Picture in mind. I promised myself I would not be the unemployed 30 year old who lives in his parents basement and does nothing but play World of Warcraft. I’m so far away from that. I know how judgemental and critical I am of myself. I should cut myself some slack. I’m doing just fine.

Anyway, just thinking about how impersonal livejournal feels, and how I get a warm fuzzy feeling from Open Diary. I love this place. I am a thinking, breathing, feeling person! SRZLY, D00DS.