You mean I need to listen to him, too?

I’m stuffed. I rocked the squats, then rocked the freeweights. I tried some horizontal pull-ups, and they are so freaking awesome. *sneezes* My wrists are still a little sore from yesterday. Sort of occurred to me that if I’m doing freeweights, I won’t need to maintain my wrists much, as the simple act of my wrists stabilizing the weights will be enough exercise. I was laying on my back on the bench, lifting weights in the air. I noticed that when I rotated my wrist, my arms flared out, which caused a different set of muscles to be used. (In this case, from the anterior deltoids to the pectorals.) Just like I’ve read, freeweights make it easy to augment your movement. I like that.

As far as squats go, I’ve been watching my form. If form wavers or if I feel like the next rep will take more effort, I put the bar up and rest for the next set. I tried to focus on sticking my ass out, which eventually caused my back to tell me that it’s being used. (At which point I rack it and rest. I’ll push it with hyperextensions. I won’t push my back with squats.) It’ll get easier as I become more flexible. Assuming I maintain my streak of no-soreness, I think I’ll add five pounds next time. I’ve been doing 65, but remember that’s down from 75 because I was getting sore with 75. So I should be fine moving up to 70 lbs.

I told Dad we’d be done around 4:20. I was done around then. He was just getting into the locker room at that time. That doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is that he said, ‘Ten minutes.’ I know better. Twenty minutes later, he came out. If it was going to take twenty minutes, why didn’t he just say twenty minutes? Whatever.

To the diner! I was hungry. I ate breakfast around 1 PM. I was ready to leave around 1:10. I asked Dad when he wanted to leave. He said, “Two? How about between two and three?” Meaning, three. Just after three, he asked me if I was ready to leave. I was sitting in the open playing Smash Bros. So by the time we get to the diner it was 5 PM. I was STARVING.

My typical routine is to eat, GOTO the Y, then immediately eat afterwards. Meaning that when I ate at 1, I could have eaten again at 3, then eaten dinner later on. Whatever.

I knew he did this on purpose, pushing our dinering to a normal “dinnertime”. So I asked him. He said he ate at noon, so he wouldn’t be hungry for a while. I pointed out my usual routine, then asked that since he had just worked out, wouldn’t he be hungry anyway? He said that if asked, he’d wait an hour. Meaning, hunger is independent of exertion.

He said that I don’t really eat much for breakfast, which caused me to snap at him. I get really insulted when he says shit like that. I caught myself, but not after saying something stupid, and calmed down.

I’ll fully admit I’m typically guilty of I WANT IT MY WAY. It just pissed me off when everybody gets so passive aggressive. And people wonder how I got that way. He’d never, ever say up front, “Hey, let’s go later so we can eat later.” No, he’d rather fudge his time approximations. He ALWAYS does this. If that were the case, I would have just eaten later so that he could get what he wanted, and I could get my eat-exert-eat cycle in.

I also tend to say, “You’re not listening to me.” But turn it around. Do I fully listen to him? I’m not sure I do, or at least, I don’t communicate that I do. That’s a hard thing to admit. But as the child, I guess I’m more concerned with being heard than whether he’s being heard. ME FIRST. I guess it doesn’t really matter whether he hears me or not, because he’s going to continue doing what he wants to do anyway. I’ve been in this pattern for enough years. At least communicating that I’m hearing him first, and then worrying about my own concerns second, couldn’t hurt compared to how I’ve acted for the past two decades.

Meh. It’s tough being the bigger person.

I’m tired, but in a good way. Exermacised and stuffed.

…I haven’t even started that presentation for OS? I think it’s due tomorrow? I don’t think I’m doing it today. I just don’t have it in my right now. I’m on full avoidant mode. I don’t know how to go about it? Which is a cop-out. I just am scared of trying. Much like so many Monster Rancher characters, I have a fear of success. *nods decisively*

Heh. Bet nobody will understand what that means. The Monster Rancher reference, I mean.

I think I’ll sleep good tonight and do a lot of stuff in between classes tomorrow. I still feel stuffed, but I’ll probably eat again in an hour. Not so much out of sheer hunger, but. I want more stuff in my system? And I want time for it to digest before sleep.

*yawns*

Oh, I didn’t even state what I ate. I had a doublemeal. *nods* Cheeseburger, no fries, medium, two eggs scrambled, rye toast. I cleaned my plates. Well, okay, I didn’t touch the cole slaw, but I never do. The trick is to keep switching up what I’m eating. Take a bite of the burger and a little bite of the pickel, and spread the jelly on the toast while I’m chewing. My jaw got sore from the volume of food and the speed at which I was eating. Finished the toast, then tore into the home fries while alternating eggs and burger. Finished the home fries, then finished the eggs. Savored the burger on the home stretch. Now that’s a fucking meal. Last time I ordered that, I couldn’t finish it. I couldn’t tell you where I’m putting it all. I’m eating at a higher pace than when I was a wee teenager.

But I was hardly an active teenager, was I?

LOOK AT MY GROWING DELTOIDS!!!

*smiles*

I need jews.