I hope you said yes

So I told Sven that Robert had asked if he could kiss me, and the title was his reply.

We have tried to have three rules of relationship.  Be safe.  Be honest. Be open to what life brings your way.

We live an introverts life, that actually has lots of friends and neighbors.  When we built a house and had a housewarming, we had to limit the people invited to 44 of our closest.  Neighbors do get together for events around here, and church or bar, or even grocery store visits can result in an hour extra for visiting.   On the other hand, when night falls, you are just a point of light on the prairie and everyone snugs into their own space.  A rare pickup might drive by, but mostly you hear the sound of the wind, and coyotes in the buttes.

Home from a month of travels, and wine and laughter and kisses, socializing constantly with ages 1.5 to 75, I have abruptly landed in my house, and been alone for 14 hours a day while Sven plants corn for neighbors.  I unpack, and incorporate the few souvenirs I bought into my colorful quirky decor.  A pillowcase of the Ponte Veccio, a lead crystal trinket, some sketches that might trigger better drawings.

I wrote a lot on this trip, at first just a travel diary, replete with new foods and sights.  Later, I tried to make sense of the swirl of feelings that I had.  I am a 67 year old woman who had an affair 20 years ago when I was in the throes of menopause and anxiety about life passing me by.  I have rebuilt my marriage and my commitment and dealt with forgiveness and acceptance.  And I never expected the giddy attraction of adolescent to sweep over me ever again,  to light up someones face every time they saw me, to feel desire, lust and joy and delight in getting to know someone who attracts you viscerally.   So I wrote and wrote, and read it to him, and we laughed and said, it was just a kiss.  and laughed again, and said, let’s do it again.