Confused

Why is it so hard to let go. After all of the red flags, I’m supposed to be relieved that I left. For 4 months I felt free and happy but why did everything changed? Why does it feel like i made the wrong decision. I left because I wanna save myself from drowning but why do I let myself drown more? All of my friends tell me to forget about him and thatI deserve better. But why do I still keep this tiny hope inside me that someday we’ll be back together. I just want the pain gone. I deserve so much better but why do I still linger to someone who cannot put me in their priority list? What should I do? How will I escape from this dangerous and scary loop…