07/13/2013

174 pounds.
Shapely Girl Step, 6 inches: 41 minutes
2 miles walked: 24 minutes

Breakfast: Greek Yogurt & 1/2 Protein Shake = 185 calories
Lunch: Flat Bread, Ham & Cheese Loaf, Miracle Whip = 340 calories
Supper: Fish tortilla w/cheese, mixed veggies & lettuce = 332 calories

It is ok though. I have still lost 62 pounds since last October and I am not going to beat myself up over slipping and losing motivation for a while anymore.
I always hate myself so much and I need to stop it. I might not be the best person alive but I am certainly not the worst either and I need to learn to like me just a tiny bit at least. I am just truly not sure how. I have self hated since I can remember and it is all I know. But baby steps I guess.
Maybe I will try to think of something nice about myself and focus on it for a week and see if it helps me to see something, anything special about myself. Of course it might fail miserably, what if I can’t think of anything? I am sitting here trying to think of something nice about myself and I can’t think of one damn thing, lol. Oh well, maybe something will come to me later.

Day One:
     Start weight: 174 pounds
     Goal weight: 130 pounds
     Total to lose: 44 pounds
     Start Date: 07/13/2013
     Goal Date: 12/25/2013

My goal is 130 pounds. I was going for October to be there but I know that is un-doable at this point. So I think I will make it Christmas. That would be a wonderful present to myself. To be at goal for Christmas. So let me figure it out real quick, 44 pounds, 165 days. That is just under 2 pounds a week. I think I can do that. I hope I can do that. I don’t know if I can make it to 130, I am 38 and have had two kids, but I see other people do it so why can’t I?