i miss you.

its been a day and you’re all i can think about. you were my everything. you still are. i created so many fond memories with you. i told my family about, even my grandparents and you did the same. where did we go wrong? i know we are young, i know we have many years ahead of us, but why would you make so many promises you couldn’t follow through with. you told me we could have that magical wedding i’ve been dreaming of my entire life. you said the names i picked out for my kids were beautiful. we spent hours talking, talking about life, about our future, about what we would become. we were going to be the greatest. i wish you were closer. maybe that could’ve fixed things? maybe if i could’ve been there to hug you when you needed me, to tell you everything will be okay, to hold your hand. you’ve been so stressed recently. with school, with your family, but why did you let it affect us. i started loving you with nothing but pure intentions. you are the man i wanted to marry. the man i wanted to wake up to every morning. you told me the same, yet you lied. when you broke up with me, you told me you didn’t know if you loved me or the idea of me. is that what i am? an idea? a desire? am i not a soul to you? every morning, waking to your messages filled my day with brightness. i thought you felt the same, until you got distant. i want to hate you so bad. i want to hate your guts. i cant bring myself to do it though. ill continue to love you with pure intentions. ill continue to support your streams, your uploads. i want you to be happy even if its not with me. i wish you the best benjamin. i love you.