It’s only just occurred to me

It’s funny, isn’t it? You scroll through endless feeds, catching snippets of other people’s lives, their joys and their struggles. Today, it was a bunch of TikToks about mental health that really got me thinking. It struck me with a quiet force, the sheer amount of unseen effort people put in, both to brighten someone else’s day and to navigate their own.

It made me reflect on my birthday, just a couple of weeks ago now – May 5th (Born 1984), a Saturday morning, if you were curious. And the odd thing is, it only truly hit me now, watching those videos, that the day passed without a single personal message. No phone call, no text, no little notification beyond the usual barrage of “happy birthday, here’s a discount!” emails from various corners of the internet.

Not a single call wishing me well. And you know what? I don’t even feel particularly upset about it. My lad, bless him, he’s in that beautiful bubble of childhood where Minecraft and bedtime stories reign supreme. Remembering dates like that just isn’t on his radar, and why should it be? I don’t hold that against him for a second.

Some of you might recall my entry about my day off then. I spent it with him, building blocky worlds and sharing a nice meal. In a way, I think I celebrated it more than anyone else. That week had been a real pressure cooker, and that day with him felt like a genuine slice of peace, even if he didn’t grasp the significance of the date.

It’s just me and him, you see. His mum… well, she’s not here. We lost her when he was born. So there’s no partner to nudge him, no family to prompt a call. It just is what it is.

And strangely, sitting here now, it doesn’t feel like a pity party. It’s more of a quiet observation. A realization of the invisible threads of effort and connection that weave through our lives, and how sometimes, those threads can feel a little thin. But then I think about that day with my son, the simple joy of building something together, and I realize maybe those threads aren’t as fragile as they seem. They’re just… different.