Only now I’ve come to this moment in my life

When I said I’d be back I made that promise and while I know its not sooner I simply just never found the right flow. A part of me wants to really journal more and not so much here but also on paper. We will get to that in a moment. I miss that art. I spoke in the last entry about a new journey in my life and one I mentioned I have never been  so excited for, so let’s go to that shall we?

As we know 2020 was well… in a nutshell quite terrible and I mentioned the lot of things that happened. The thing is I learned quite a lot of things from it. Before 2020 I lived life in what I’d like to say the fast lane. I was always planning my next concert, my next event, my next concert, and next festival. I never knew what it was to just live life in the moment and live in the present. I had to plan my life.  As soon as one festival ended, I was already planning the next years, adding more to it. Maybe adding more things. Concerts. I attended so many—I will expand more on that later. As soon one festival ended it was on to the next one. When that one ended, another one. My life was planned by the book. I had so much I wanted to do. The thing was I never took the time to just breathe and let myself enjoy the life of not going to so much. It became a bit exhausting in a way but I also loved it. The festivals in New Orleans are truly amazing and as someone who took their instagram to a new level three years ago I used these to promote (without pay) tourism and the city itself. I loved doing that so much. I learned so much, saw so much and so much exploration and fun. I recorded pictures and posted, videos and stories. My life simply became a social media experience as well. I never stopped.

When 2020 hit, it would teach me something and rather I wanted it or not that was the true beginning of what has lead me to this year. The world shut down. French Quarter Fest, Jazzfest, Greekfest, Beignet Fest, Macaroni and Cheese Fest, Chicken Festival, VoodooFest were all canceled. MechaCon postponed to this year. Coheed and Cambria cancelled. Baseball was postponed. Everything just stopped. I thought like everyone else that 2020 would be that year. I got a new job, more hours and better pay.I had that extra spending money.  I thought so much concerts and festivals, but alas the pandemic and lockdowns. As someone who lived for the future and always something to do this hit me hard. Very hard. I had no idea how to handle my life. I had no plans. I stayed home. I hated it. Concerts became distant memories, being around so many people, just seemed so far away. I had no idea how to handle this and it was part of my mental breakdowns, but what was happening was the one thing in my life that I needed. I needed to slow down. And slow down I did.

I spent a long bit of it alone and sad, in dark places. I finally saw family in July and did a four day weekend there in Texas. I needed that more than anything and in August and November I planned something I like to call island therapy. I went to Galveston with family an then again for my birthday. They were somewhat planned but they were not planned the second something ended. The slow lane was all I could take now, just like everyone else.

You might be asking why I spent the time alone? My love found a better job as well last year and took it. That job was in Texas and believe me I miss him like crazy. And this brings me right to what I am so excited about. In the late summer, we began to look for houses in the area. For years I did not want to leave New Orleans or Louisiana. I cried, just thinking about missing New Orleans, but 2020 helped me get away from it. I had no choice. I have gone twice since the pandemic or maybe three. I used to go so much. My last outing I won’t lie certain things made me cry, but you know I didn’t mind that my fate would bring me back to Texas nearly twenty years later.

There was one house that we looked at and I felt a connection the moment I saw it on the site. When we looked at it,  I knew we had to have it, that it would be ours. It had a charm about it and the surroundings were so very peaceful, and I felt a calm like zen wash over me.  I began to somewhat manifest that house and having it. November the house became ours. My birthday was a surprise of the official go that it was. I had no idea! I was so excited. Life for me has changed drastically. I am going to a quieter life, a new city to explore—Hello Galveston Island I hope you’re ready! I live by Lake Houston, so days will be spent on the lake, taking walks in a much quieter neighborhood, reading in a new place, my reading room, on my porch, my backyard, reading on the island, finding new things to capture, and new places to eat. The all of this is that new life, the slow lane. Have I planned anything? Of course not, do I want to? Not really. I just can’t wait to be in my new house, new town,  and back in Texas. I can’t wait to be closer to family, and I can’t wait to spend days just taking the life one day at a time.

I have time to breathe, and this year is my year of rest and relaxation. Last year mentally and emotionally drained me. This year is about continuing the path in the slow lane. Its not always about the next concert or festival, its about just living for the moment, not being so social media expectant. Its about smelling the flowers.  I told myself this year: Take in 2021 as your year of relaxation and that slow lane. Take it easy, smell the roses and enjoy the little things. Enjoy the present because it’s happening.

So this is it, the year I say goodbye to New Orleans, Louisiana, and all the wonderful things here, but a new life calls, a new life  and while 2020 frankly sucked, it helped me get to this point in my life where I am perfectly okay with this new life and I have never been more excited as I am now. Oh and for the first time in my life… I have a “five year plan.” I’ve  never had one of those, though we will save that for another time, another entry. Until then. 

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January 29, 2022

I am a bit envious: a year of relaxation, of not being driven, of smelling the roses?…that’s amazing! …so did it stay that way? I’m looking forward to learning about 2021 in 2022.

January 31, 2022

@parradoxx It did not. Which soon I’ll break down the pieces and share all of it.  EVERYTHING.