This Art Does Drown

It’s been awhile since I’ve written and while I could of used writing here I just suppose there are just some things I just didn’t want to write about and some things I just didn’t feel  like sharing because I was in a good place and things on life were good. I didn’t want to constantly fill this journal with all the things I’ve done and constant updates with my mom—which I’ll get to in a bit. There are lots of things I want to write and share. And things I want to express.  There’s a lot really and each thing deserves their own entry. 

2019 has been pretty exceptional so far. It’s been a lot better than the past two years. There’s been more smiles and less depression, though I’ve had two major bouts of depression and one recent hit very hard. I tried to get myself up out of bed and move on to the day. The depression got the best of me my failed attempt sent me right back into bed. And I tried again. It was another fail. It took more than half the day for me to function and even feel better. It was one of the hardest bouts I’ve had in a long time.  I always compare this to the feeling of a dementor attack, and anyone familiar with Harry Potter knows what I’m talking about. It felt like every ounce of happiness I had known was being sucked out me and it was dark and lonely. It wash hard to get thru but somehow I did. These don’t happen often so I’m glad  for that.  

Until the next update…..