&&Let it all go…
Some things change, but some thing never do.
Work stresses me out. That hasn’t changed much over the years. Same job, different city, same bullshit employees that want to make excuses instead of doing their job. Honestly, most days I feel more like a baby sitter than a manager.
I currently have two thorns in my side, but one is about two weeks from getting the boot and apparently the other is going to put in her two weeks notice soon because I severely pissed her off the other. Less paperwork for me!
Home life DOESN’T stress me out. I have NO DRAMA at home! NONE. It is glorious. This is a huge change from my previous life 7 years ago…that was over filled with so much drama I felt like my life was written by Jerry Springer.
If I wasn’t so busy all the time it would border on boring.
It is a tad mundane though and that in itself drives me crazy.
It’s the little things…the adult things…dishes in the sink, towels on the floor, (also whyyyy is my towel always wet?!), empty glasses on the table…that really irk me.
The one thing currently that drives me INSANE is never getting any time to myself.
I work 10+ hours a day dealing with the public and my crew of adult children.
I get home and immediately have my son and the animals to take care of. Take out to potty, feed, water, help with homework and snack time.
Once a week I TRY to retreat to my library after dealing with all of that to have some moment of peace, but it never quite works that way. Usually the scene is my kid waits exactly 3 minutes before knocking on the door to ask if he can watch t.v. which if I reply yes to will grant me at least 30 minutes of quiet time, but if he is in trouble for some reason or another then it results in him and the dogs lingering outside my door until I lose my shit and scream at him to go find something do to.
I don’t like yelling, but fuck I just want 20 minutes of quiet. Do I cave and give him tv time so I can try to reign in my psycho or stick to my guns and literally sit in my library trying not to flip out because I know they’re all sitting outside my door?
Neither is really an option so I guess I need to figure something else out.
When I’m not in the library I have the dogs and Sam hanging out beside me…or outside the bathroom door.
Even if he has something to do and I am in no way engaging him because I am cooking dinner or cleaning…he will literally just stand there and stare at the back of my head until I again lose it and tell him to go find some thing to do.
Seriously though, what 10 year old wants to just stand there and watch his mom clean?!
Tuesdays tend to be the only night I can get a few minutes of quiet time since Matt gets home early, but then I’m faced with feeling guilty because it’s the only night during the week I see my husband at a reasonable time.
Either way I always end up feeling like a huge asshole because I want to decompress by myself.
Hence, why I have somehow cycled back to OD.
Maybe if I can spend 20 minutes spewing my frustrations into here i won’t have a mental breakdown and lose my shit on my kid or my husband…again.
Maybe.
When the day gets long
When the work’s all done
When the sun sets
When you need to forget
Grab that cup,
Fill it up
Sip it slow
And let it all go
I literally posted my phone in my dashboard and talk to text my entry today and just talk to my phone like a person I was venting too! Lol. I think I might do that most days since I have a 30 drive there and back! I’m sorry you never get alone time. But I literally just don’t think it happens with a kid. Lorelai is 11 months and I am only alone in my car 15 minutes a day after I drop her at daycare. Even when she is at my moms , I still have greg up my butt! So sadly I think that is the life of a mom 😩😂
@fadedglitter i think im going to start making him do his nightly reading for 30 mins when i want to go sit in my library. That way I get 30 mins to decompress uninterrupted. We’ll see how it works. Lol I have the same issue with Matt tho…hes right there up my ass too if he’s home. I just can’t stand being literally followed as I wall through the house like no-one has anything better to do than watch me complete mundane tasks. I would never be able to be on a reality show id lose it on the camera man 😂😂
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YOU. ARE. BACK!
I literally almost cried. It’s only been, what, 10 years?
@belledarkheart haha note quite. Only 6. Buuut yeah. I tried to note on your entry the other day but my phone kept screwing up! Then I got busy and never remembered to try once I got home.
@underanightsky Ohhhh! That was you! I had the notification for a note, but nothing was left. It didn’t even tell me who it was from or which entry it was located in – basically, it vanished.
So, like, fun (read: creepy) story time? I literally have been stalking my friends list hoping you’d stumble upon OD again.
@belledarkheart Meanwhile I’m over here reading some of your entries like, I doubt she’s gonna remember me… 😂😂 And true to the awkwardness thay envolopes my life i couldnt even leave a proper note haha
@underanightsky Psssh. We got this. I’m still trying to figure out this stupid site 90% of the time.
But for the real note: Yay! Marriage! Happiness! The adulting, not-so-much. Boo on adulting. No one likes to do it.
@belledarkheart Adulting is the worst. Idk if you read the previous entry but has more of an update! I’m headed to work now but I’ll read yours later once i get home. 😊😊
@underanightsky <3 I did read it! I’ve been serial reading most of the morning to catch up. I totally drifted during the last year of OD. I didn’t even realize the site had shut down until 3-4 months after it happened.
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