Dear Diary I

Progress in therapy isn’t shown, it isn’t talked about enough. I still feel like therapy is stigmatized. And so I’m talking about it – if it makes you uncomfortable bye

I realized today that I allowed myself to be bullied. Bullied into thinking I couldn’t openly share on my facebook, I unfriended a lot of people to protect people that didn’t deserve it. I was bullied off of my own TikTok account. I changed who I was and how I shared on app because of the hate I was getting.

But let’s talk about the hate. I didn’t get hate on social media, and when I say hate, I mean – name calling (sow, whore, bitch), leaking/doxing text messages about the affair where I AM belittled and called names, MY character attacked…

The hateful messages -didn’t start until end of February. Once I opened up about the affair. Then it became relentless – 7 different TikTok accounts, 2 Instagram and a Facebook account. IT HAS BEEN HELL

I was doing what I needed to to heal, to cope and to understand. I never gave names, I never even shared full details. I spoke briefly and hid. Hid to protect people again people who didn’t protect me. People that when they got caught attacked me, my character and continue to long after. My response to that is different almost 3 months later – you made your bed lay in it. You don’t want the truth about you out then you shouldn’t have stepped where you didn’t belong.

I’m not hiding anymore.

I’m not changing my tune to fit your song.

You can hate me. You can dislike me. You can be mad at me – but the anger is misplaced.

The silence I was keeping only hurt me. I don’t have a care about you. Stop watching my fucking social medias and you wouldn’t need to react, you wouldn’t need your friends and family to do anything.

You lived a lie for 1.5 years – own it. You lied about me to justify your relationship. You could have clarified my role within the 1st month that you started dating. You stalked my socials and gathered evidence when it was a simple message. Not almost 2 years later.

I won’t be silenced, I’m not going to hide behind an alias. I’m going to be speaking freely, unedited, and raw. Because I can’t heal unless I do.

_______________

**As with anything I write – if you choose to screenshot and share don’t edit a thing. You know who you are. I’m not stupid, since the affair so many people have been quick to share messages without context to validate and support the affair. You’d be amazed how many people support a cheater and hate the wife.