Dear Diary X
FACEBOOK POST
My therapist said to me today:
“the truth will set you free”
And she was referring to all of the secrets I’ve been keeping protecting “people. Letting my doubts and unanswered questions eat me alive with scenarios I create.
But with asking the hard questions comes hearing the hard answers. I’ve been down that road, and it validated what I assumed, it still crushed me. Devastated me to my core. I’m not sure I want to even know – because it doesn’t change anything.
I think the worst part of infidelity is the trust that gets lost.
Not only did I loose my partner but my friend too. I don’t believe anything and because I cant and don’t trust, I share the bare minimum. I keep everything close and share my joys and successes with no one, my broken heart is healing alone.
It’s very lonely.
It’s a sad and harsh reality also knowing how little someone values and respects you. Especially when you hear they are all in, they want to repair the damage , they care, etc. But can’t communicate, can’t be present, continues to ghost you.
It’s like the twilight zone, reliving the past 1.5 years all over again. Like bro we just went through this, suppose I am insecure but you made me this way.
I’m swearing on my last remaining flying fuck – do not play me.
⁑ DISCLAIMER ⁑
Remember: you are reading MY “perspective” of given events. These writings are MY feelings; whether they are present tense – written in the moment, past tense – drafted during the day, or anticipated – futuristic. All information provided is what I know from the information I have been given. As with any and every situation there are multiple sides to share the account. It is at the discretion of the reader to which side they favor.