Dear Diary XVII
FACEBOOK POST
I know I said I was taking a break but I unfortunately find peace in writing and I have no where else.
I’m just trying to find my peace.
So many of my favorite “go-to” songs carry a much different meaning now. I also realized by my song choices that my brain already knew and that when I needed comfort the playlist would be ready.
There’s some bangers on this list if I don’t say so myself. And I honestly feel like they’re so blunt and the obvious is spelled out….if you have to even wonder or ask – assume the answer is yes.
So you too can wallow in my misery with me….
-Cheater, Cheater
I mean if you haven’t cranked this and sang your hillbilly heart out at least once than idk if we can friends…
-Mixed Drinks About Feelings
This line hits a little different now:
“Need a little background noise
To drown out this little voice
Running circles ’round my brain
Screaming louder than the pain
My head is spinning
My resolve is reeling
I can tell by the heavy in my heart
I’m going down soon
No use fighting the fight
It’s no contest tonight
My figured out’s never been more confused
Having mixed drinks about feelings and you
Turn off the bedroom light
Put on a brave face and face the night
It’s either get used to this dread
Or the cold spot in our bed”
-Fuck You
In reality no explanation needed:
Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin’ it didn’t mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back
-Burning Down
-Crazy Bitch
-The Climb
I’m the Problem
……..
Endless options. Endless emotions. My brain was creating this knowing there would be a moment when life would be unbearable and music would bring me peace…..
And purging my soul.
⁑ DISCLAIMER ⁑
Remember: you are reading MY “perspective” of given events. These writings are MY feelings; whether they are present tense – written in the moment, past tense – drafted during the day, or anticipated – futuristic. All information provided is what I know from the information I have been given. As with any and every situation there are multiple sides to share the account. It is at the discretion of the reader to which side they favor.