February 24th 2025
*Previously written and shared on my Facebook three days after the affair was exposed.*
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By now, it’s probably obvious that there has been some form of infidelity within my relationship;
I vowed to stay off Facebook, in part because I am hurt, and I did not want to speak out of character and spite, I wanted time to understand, to process. There are a lot of moving pieces and much like chess, each move matters….
While I owe no explanation; its who I am. Its what is healing me.
-There are 4 sides to this situation; and when I say 4 – no I was the blindsided individual….you do the math. if you are reading, scrolling, screenshotting, etc. just remember: you are hearing MY “perspective”, these are MY feelings, and what I know from what I have been given.
-I am *not* asking for “sides” to be chosen. Period. I have had friends separate/divorce, and have maintained strong bonds with them separately; just know your place with me, and the lines of what I will share, and have your intentions be true.
-I am *NOT* accepting responsibility for this situation; in 20 years have I done my fair share of failing my relationship – 100%. At moments, I have been to blame for situations, I will own that. But reactions always come from actions.
-If it makes you uncomfortable reading my posts; unfriend me. Scroll past. I’m writing for myself – it silences the noise, it gives me moments of clarity, peace, and I’m able to go on with my day.
-I do not want “pity” – I too made the choice to “stay” after I had suspicions, and I chose to continue a facade.
-I am hurt. And that is lightly putting it. I’m expressive person, and I cannot even put this into words. Everything right now seems surreal.
-I am fragile. I was before this. Now I am superglued together but not dry. One bump, and I’m breaking, and too many times of regluing and it can’t be salvaged. When I say, I am trying, I am. I am trying to be strong for my children, I am trying to not let the tears fall because then he wins, I am trying to keep my bitterness hidden because I am the bigger person, I’m trying to heal the debilitating ache in my soul that takes my breathe away, makes the room spin, makes want to pass out and disappear, and there is no relief…
My mind already plays a daily battle against itself with self hate, self worth, self love, add this and there is no rest for the wicked. Its a broken record on repeat….
I’d love to say I won’t be sharing anything further; but my heart is saying its not OK to continue to cover up and protect…but my mind knows the amount there is to “loose”…..
So again – you can choose whether or not you follow me/friend me or unblock me. 
⁑ DISCLAIMER ⁑
Remember: you are reading MY “perspective” of given events. These writings are MY feelings; whether they are present tense – written in the moment, past tense – drafted during the day, or anticipated – futuristic. All information provided is what I know from the information I have been given. As with any and every situation there are multiple sides to share the account. It is at the discretion of the reader to which side they favor.