Time is a rolling stone

Minutes have turned into hours……hours into days….days into a week….

Why – why is it so different this time.

I know one “why”… Because it was so out of character for him.

I had assumptions that there was infidelity, more so random one night hookups.  “Innocent”, flirtatious, sexual banter text messages, Facebook groups, and quite possibly “dating apps”.  Fulfilling what I was not capable of giving to you.  It was instant gratification. It validated you. It made you feel good – good about who you were. It boosted your confidence. It gave you a rush.

But no.

It was 485 days.

It was “I love you’s”. Promises of a brighter future. Friendship. Sneaky weekends away.  Secret rendezvous. Lies. I was the enemy in every situation. It was sharing our intimate moments.  It was investing time. It was sharing our children. It was spent creating a fantasy life that was “better than ours” – or the phrase you prefer “greener grass”.

But I think the question that lives rent free in my mind is:

WHY – when you were given an out, free and clear, with minimal hurt attached did you stay?

she was sexually satisfying you. she was your friend. You were choosing to confide in her over me.  You had everything you wanted with her – and yet you dragged me along..

I had a few requests:
•Don’t make me out to be a fool
•I hope you know if I find out that there is more it will break me to my core aka: don’t hurt me (Sept 2024)
•Answer 3 questions honestly for me to be able to consider “forgiving” and “forgetting”
•Do you want an open relationship/do you want to separate/do you want to not define us and see where it goes

The answers:
•You did when you had a mutual friend WITH YOU during your sexual escapades
•February 2025 it was exposed – 5 months of destroying me. You broke me.
•You lied in your answers to the 3 questions. LOOKED me in my eyes and lied.
•You refused to be honest because “I would cut you off” aka: you wanted your cake and to eat it too.

So as I’ve asked you….

WHY should I stay?

WHY is this time going to be different?

WHY NOW? 

⁑ DISCLAIMER ⁑
Remember: you are reading MY “perspective” of given events.  These writings are MY feelings; whether they are present tense – written in the moment, past tense – drafted during the day, or anticipated – futuristic.  All information provided is what I know from the information I have been given. As with any and every situation there are multiple sides to share the account. It is at the discretion of the reader to which side they favor.