7 Days, 21 Minutes

I’ve been trying my hardest to want to remain here.

I never wanted to understand the grief associated with losing a soulmate.

I am supposed to fight to stay here for the grown kids who have plans. But I keep finding myself whispering “take me”. Because I want to be absorbed into you again. Because I want back the piece of my soul that you took when you died.

I want to be done crying. I want to hold you again you asshole. I want to call you.  I want to be with you. Wherever you are. I want to be there. I don’t want to be away from you. But I promised the kids things that would devastate them if I wasn’t here. But I ache for you.

It’s been 7 days and 21 minutes since you were pronounced. The rest of this existence needs to go by fast.