i will never admit this to someone i know but, even though im in a new relationship, and its starting to look like my ex is trying to make a comeback… i honestly still want my ex. i dont get the same treatment he gave me. i dont have a handsome perfect face to take pictures of. i dont have someone who is mostly sweet and not overly sexual. my current bf, he jacked off one time in the beginning of our relationship when i fell asleep on call. i have a hard time trusting him now. its difficult, he isnt a very attractive person. yes im sexually attracted to him but it isnt the same. i dont get the same love as i did with my ex. often i feel used, when i never felt that way with my ex. my ex has so mental issues like me and yeah we werent good for each other but i could never love someone the same, i hate knowing ill never find love like that again with anyone else. i wish i could have both of them at once. i dont wanna break my bfs heart but if i was given the choice to choose i wouldnt be able to decide.