Growing Up Poor

When we grew up we were fairly poor, especially in my early years. My parents had 9 children. My dad worked for the city of Montpelier on one of the street repair crews. I remember later he had a 2nd job washing dishes at The Lobster Pot Restaurant. I remember my mom having an Avon kit but she must have done that when I was real young. Things got better as we got older. Dad went to the fire department and eventually worked his way up to chief. But by that time we were teens and had our own part time jobs, money, etc and bought our own clothes and stuff.

I often think about one particular Christmas when I was young. I think it was the first time I realized we were poor. I must have been 8 or so since it occurred on E. State Street and we moved there when I was 7. I was old enough to not believe in Santa Claus. I remember that us 3 older boys, Jerry, Mike and I, didn’t get very much for Christmas. I don’t think anything was new. I seem to recall a few articles of clothes and maybe one large item. I remember wishing we could all get more. I was standing in the corner crying. I didn’t want my parents to see but they did. I remember not wanting to tell them what was wrong but they knew, sort of. They took a small gift from one of the others, I think it was Mike. They gave it to me and told me that Santa made a mistake and that this was supposed to go to me. I took the gift and pretended to feel better but I didn’t.

I remember receiving boxes of food with a turkey from charity groups in town, one year we even got 2 from different groups. Although, even when we didn’t get one, we still had a bird and all the trimmings at holidays. I was not ashamed when they brought these but I would have been if any of my classmates had been with them.

We used to get free lunch at high school. I devised lots of tricks for hiding the fact from my friends. I would do things like get 2 extra rolls and then charge them to my account. It would force the cashier to write down an entry in the book.

I now know that we were still better off than 90% of the world but compared to others in my town we were poor.

I mention all this because of the impact it has had on my life so far. I chose a field of work (engineering) where I would be financially secure. My conservative ways with money are surely due to this also. At 48 years old I am getting better now at recognizing the reasons behind my actions. But I’m very pleased with myself for the decisions I’ve made to live modestly and save for the future. We don’t live like paupers but we live well below our means. I agonize a long time (years) over things like a $300 canoe or a better guitar. We have not debt other than a mortgage. We buy our cars outright, maintain them well and run them to failure. Most of our furnature was bought used although we have been upgrading more lately. I max out on the company sponsored savings (since they match the money you put in). I have deferred every bonus I have ever received (7 years now) for retirement or Justin’s college.

All these things have really reduced the stress level. I don’t get caught up in competing with the Joneses. My dream is to return home to the family land and be near relatives again while we’re all young enough to enjoy it. I articulated this to most people when I got out of college. I knew I would probably have to leave VT to earn a decent living but I would always return. I’m hoping this can happen when I’m in my early to mid 50’s. We’ll see.