We had DnD yesterday and right from the start it was disorganized. The first hour and a half was really just us eating lunch and yakking. When we did start DM Sean said he had to change what happened at the end last time to fit in with the timeline, leaving us with three game days of kicking around a base with nothing to do.
I tried to embrace this by snooping around but I wasn’t accomplishing anything and the other two decided to start sparring. Despite yet another pointless and boring DnD situation I tried to make the best of it and not be annoyed by Sean’s lack of leadership and seeming lack of interest.
Then, when I went to investigate what two characters were up to with their secret conversation and maps, Sean literally forgot what was supposed to happen with that. I’m still fine, though, and suggest I’ll go do something else and talk to somebody about it later. I did not realize how much this memory lapse upset Sean, and casually joked about it in reference to something else that occurred later. This apparently pushed Sean over the edge and he started having an anxiety attack that brought everything to a screeching halt. He then proclaimed DnD was over for the day despite two more hours in the session and started putting stuff away.
Caspar in an attempt to help the situation, said they didn’t think anyone should leave, we should stay and talk about it. Sean didn’t want to talk, and ended up leaving the room. Reed, Caspar, and I chatted together for awhile. Then Sean came back and plugged in his phone and mostly stared at his phone while occasionally adding to various conversations until it was time to leave.
Caspar made everyone hug but I could tell Sean was still upset and I felt awful for contributing to his meltdown since all I seem to do is upset people despite my literal determination to become a better person this year. This was pretty demoralizing, and Reed and I had a somber dinner at El Indios while Caspar and I messaged each other about the situation with Caspar eventually suggesting I talk to Sean. I would love to but Sean is the least communicative millenial I know and I didn’t expect much. I did reach out to him via text to let him know how much I appreciate him and how sorry I was if I made things more difficult for him.
He responded that he appreciated me too and a thank you, but I still felt like an ogre. Maybe we’ll talk more on Tuesday. I have to pick up his cat to watch him for the day while something is going on with their apartment.
Today is my last day off. Reed and I are having breakfast at Ikea and getting bookshelves, then we’re seeing a stage production of Sense and Sensibility at the Armory downtown. Maybe it will be a nice quiet day.