Vulnerable

Dear Sarah,

I am in a really vulnerable situation right now. I don’t know if these bad guys were arrested and this terrifies me. I fell asleep with my headlights on and now it is freezing cold at night. I thought about calling AAA but that terrified me after my experience talking to them last time. They could send the police to me and I could be arrested (framed) if it turns out they are not in jail.

I am terrified because this evil man hacked into my email and printed out a replacement license document for me feom my email address to his so it looks like I TRUST him and did this myself! He gave it to me making me think it was from my mother and actually if the police had stopped me and interrogated me about that license before ai found out about it myself I do mot know where I’d be right now.

He gave me a license that gave him power over me!!! After I died he would have that power and if I saw it while I was vulnerable like this it would make me feel so unsafe it might have killed me.

Sarah, I’m cold, and no longer have a working car, and you know what happens when I call AAA if you read about my past experience in LA and I WISH the police could somehow connect me to you because in this vulnerable situation that is about the only thing that feels safe right now.

I am too cold and tired and everything else to look closely and it is actually traumatizing to look but I think someone stole the evidence, that license, out of my car, even as that security car was sitting there with its flashing yellow lights on… where that girl closed the back door and seemed to playfully refer to me: “Someone’s smoking, I’m taking all the food!” I then realized I put a flyer from the dispensary I just went to in the handle of the drivers side back door right before this happened to me. Security was clearly aware I was soeeping in my car but did not ask me to leave until like 3 AM. So I woke up, drove somewhere else, and fell back asleep with the headlights on, and Sarah, now my car won’t start and I thought, my wallet was stolen but with two forms of ID in an emergency like this where the only license I have (had, because I think someone stole it oytbof my car to cover their asses, though someone taking that puece of paper out of my car SHOULD be on CCTV cameras too. It is just too traumatizing right now to wade through this car looking to see if I am right or kistaken that someone has stolen this license document and… if the only license I have looks like it was sent by me to that criminal because he hacked into my account that leaves me so much mire than just vulnerable and I am too traumatized to look through the email account that he is watching to see if the original email to me is still there so I may have to buy another license to free it from the influence of abuse and control that would kill me. But if I report that my car… OMG it just started! Disaster temporarily acerted but evidence most likely stolen. This criminal held my guitar strings while staring down everythinf in my trunk while I was cleaning it out and then sat NEXT to me when I brought him to and took him home from the airport (which was the only stipulation for staying with him, considering his brother who I hope has also been arrested, worked for Wyman Gordon, a company that makes airplane parts, and they both want to get away with killing me in a car crash!

I am safe, for now, but you see how vulnerable I am and how scared I am to go to the police. One thing like this happens and I do mot inow if I am going to jail but maybe if I were going to jail I would be there already and right after I did the thibg that I THINK is what got them arrested or at least I dearly hope I experienced the most simultaneously terrifying but comforting signs that they have been arrested but if someone would still steal evidence from my car is that mean I am unsafe or does it mean someone is in jail and soneone connected to tjis plot to murder me is covering their butts. Indeed it was PRECISELY seeing this license that clued me in that I had a way to get them arrested and then I did it but the aigns I got are too scary to mention except privately. When I realized my car battery was dead and my car was not turning on I got another sign in the form of a similar sort of vehicle circling my car and waving to me… but oh Sarah this car is a disgusting mess because I am too triggered to even clean it and look thoroughly for anything. I might find something ELSE that was messed with if I do that which could leave me feeling MORE vulnerable not less. I am prerty sure I just had the car charger part for the new phone charger part I had to buy but I don’t know now and even looking for it is scary. I am sure it was here and that if I have the courage to clean out this car I will find it. I took it out of the charger when I thought my battery was dead and I haven’t left this car since then. I have to clean it somehow though and that is traumatizing but it is better than being so scared of what is IN this car and having to buy new phone chargers every day…

Love,

Willow