That’s What I Get!

Growing up, I always assumed I would get married (I did) and have a family (I did) and grow old with the person I married (I didn’t).  I always thought I would marry someone who would love me as much as I loved him.  I imagined birthdays and Christmases and other holidays that were homey and fun.  That I would be with someone who would remember my birthday and know what I liked to get.  

That’s what I get for believing in fairy tales!  So here I sit alone at the ripe old age of 57.  Sometimes I just get so lonely I think it would be better to be with someone, ANYONE, than to be alone.  I would like for someone to remember my birthday.  I can’t remember the last time I got a present that didn’t feel forced (my sisters and I go out for our birthdays and that is usually the only gifts I get).  Last year I got two Christmas presents (both from friends at work, very small gifts)…I try to give generously to my family and friends.  Does anyone else out there know what it’s like to wake up on Christmas morning and wish you didn’t?  To be so alone that you would rather just die than admit to anyone you know that you have no one and no where to go? 

I remember last year people at work telling all they got and I wonder if they knew about me, how the only two gifts I got were from two people at work.  I appreciated those gifts but this year I think I will just not wake up on Christmas.