I'm 46 years old as of February 2018. I'm a graphic designer, copywriter, content manager, email marketing and social media specialist for a small business here in Charlotte, NC. I come from a background in public television (Houston PBS). I still miss and grieve for my old job and never wanted to leave it in the first place. I have been married for 14 years and have a daughter, Jane, with my husband. I have 3 other children from back when I was a single mom. My husband adopted my other kids so we are mom and dad to all of them. I have had a hard marriage with lots of ups and downs. Things are pretty good these days. My husband and I are good friends. It took a lot of work to get here. I stopped drinking on March 1, 2017. My life is so much better now. I no longer have the guilt and shame and I like myself a lot better. I was an abused child and suffered some additional trauma about 8 years ago. I am in therapy doing "brainspotting" (highly recommend, google it) for dealing with trauma. It's an exciting time for me to be in therapy. I am currently estranged from my oldest daughter, Zoe. She is a dangerous and unhealthy relationship with her future MIL and has been encouraged to break ties with the entire extended family, which she has recently done. She is expecting her first child, a daughter, in March 2018. At this point, none of us will even know when she has the baby nor will be allowed to see her. Things are pretty hard right now for all of us. I'm hoping to finally have a place to keep my journal and to be able to work through my emotions in a safe environment. Thanks so much for reading.

Latest Entry

My morning racket

February 13, 2018
Apparently, the way to get me up early in the morning is to inject large quantities of nicotine. I'm out of my Adderall and have only had one cup of coffee but am awake and fully functioning. I had quit this horrible e-cig habit and will only allow myself the indulgence for a little while. It's a...
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Recent Entries

  • Mama Lion
    February 12, 2018
    I have made up my mind to go where Zoe is living with her toxic future MIL to try to see her and to deliver some baby gear that I have bought her. I've been driving around with it in the trunk of my car for over a month. So many people keep telling me…
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  • Cigarette daydreams
    February 10, 2018
    I've picked up my nicotine habit again - for now. Not cigarettes but e-cigs; menthol, blech. So much going on with Zoe (20-year-old daughter) right now. She has blocked our entire family on social media and her phone. She is living with her toxic mother-in-law who has encouraged her to cut ties w...
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