31. Still trying to figure out where my place in the world is. Searching for a love that a lot of people don't believe/chose not to believe in anymore.
My entries will be about anything my heart can no longer accommodate or thoughts my mind will always choose to remember. An outlet for those unspoken words, hidden feelings and everything that's better left to unknown for some people in my life.

Latest Entry

020: I wish

February 14, 2023
I guess it is hurts day for me today. I am still finding it hard to believe that he’s gone. I was somehow hoping his mom would say that it wasn’t him, but she didn’t. She confirmed it to me this morning that everything was real and that J is gone. If I am feeling…
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Recent Entries

  • 019: The First, he’s gone too soon.
    February 13, 2023
    I recently got a message from a stranger asking for help to find the family of a guy I met few years ago, J. This guy was my first and I remember writing about in my 001 entry. I never hated him although I hated the feeling after I did it. As I said it…
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  • 18: Blue – Part 2
    January 31, 2023
    So yes, we met again and I gave in.  We met a few times more then I realized something is not right but it felt right for me. We only see each other when we want to have fun , and you know what I mean. I never even bothered trying to get to know…
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  • 017: Blue
    December 13, 2022
    How do I start this? I met Blue through a dating app right on the 2nd day since I moved here on the island. It’s the first time since 2019 that I decided to use the app again and meet a guy. I never really used it back home for the fear that people who…
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  • 016: He’s married.
    December 12, 2022
    Okay. Let me take you back to four months ago, which is 2 months after that guy (let’s call him Blue which I’ll talk about in another entry) blocked me. It’s crazy, I know. I decided to use that dating app again and came across this new guy (we’ll call him Andy). Andy was funny…
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  • 015: Two months
    December 12, 2022
    Two months. It’s been two months since I left my home country to venture on this new life.  I have finally made new friends and I feel that we have the same vibe. They are so fun to be with and I always enjoy being with them. Although I can’t deny the fact that I…
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  • 014: Finally
    June 22, 2022
    I’ve been trying to access the site since I relocated in this side of the world but it says that it’s blocked. My friend told me about using a VPN so it’s another subscription I made just to have access to my diary. It’s been only three weeks since I got here and I am…
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  • 013: A matter of time
    May 16, 2022
    I am still trying to convince myself that everything is not final until I set foot on the island where I am going to move soon. Last week, I finally got all the clearance I need to exit the country. Now, it's up for my employer to book our tickets and we are targeting to…
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  • 012:
    May 9, 2022
    I think this is the 4th time I tried to write something. The other 3, I ended up deleting them and wrote something else then delete again, then this. In one of those entry I talked about how thankful I am being alive. It was few weeks ago, a year after I got into an…
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  • 011:
    April 20, 2022
    I've been wanting to write something these past few days, but was not able to so. At least not until now. I want to write about something relevant that happened in my day. Sadly, there isn't any. Other than being grateful that I have woken up, which is one most relevant thing, there's none. My&he...
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