Recent Entries

• ?

  May 18, 2021

  I've been trying really hard to find a direction. No matter what I'm just hitting dead ends. Apparently, 27 yo is too old to hope for a student loan. I can't even start over. I don't even know where to look at anymore. I'm really exhausted and foggy. I just want to be okay. How…

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• IDK

  May 17, 2021

  It's been a while...my energy levels have been quite stable since winter so I didn't feel the need to write. But to every up there is a down, right now I'm feeling overwhelmed so let's acknowledge it and take care of it soon enough. I will be fine and I know that no one has…

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• Google dictation tool is crap

  January 5, 2021

  My doc didn't want to grant me a certificate. "Being off and on again will make it worse". So last weekend I had to call my mom so she would help me with my chores since I have tendonitis in every single finger of both of my hands. Now I have to work over my…

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• Things that made this last month better:

  October 16, 2020

  - I have settled on a precise plan to get to the next chapter of my life so I don’t have to wonder all day wtf I’m gonna do and being in the office is more bearable. - I have seen with my own eyes that my boss is crazy with literally everyone. - Having…

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• Cosltly cuddle

  October 2, 2020

  Yesterday evening was something. I was already ending the day in total physical and emotional exhaustion when I decided to take the trash out. There was a guy examinating the empty yard in front of my building, confirming what I already knew. I already knew a house was gonna get built there. But ...

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• Next phase please

  September 29, 2020

  Should I journal when I’m okay too? I change so often. Am I really okay? It just seems like I don’t care as much these days. Also, I’ve made some cool stuff with my baby music skills so maybe it has put me in a good mood. I'm coming to terms with the fact I…

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• Termial ugliness

  September 18, 2020

  Since last week, I have strange dark patches of rough skin on my shoulders. My SHOULDERS. My most valued and unique body asset. I didn't panic for the whole week, because I'm almost sure I had something similar twice and it did go away. But it was smaller. Did it really look the same? I…

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• Bloody tuesday

  September 15, 2020

  Yesterday was a good day. I took care to visualize myself taking it easy and doing one thing at a time. I could mold myself into this state of mind with ease and got into the evening with a sense of satisfaction and confidence. After all, during the last 7 days I finished a song,…

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• Good I think?

  September 11, 2020

  Today was better. I could get an appointment for the terrarium delivery and I was actually happily thinking about the craftwork I’ll have to do to set up the new gerbil home. I bought everything and my monthly balance didn’t bottom too low. I could agree on some off days to give myself more time&...

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