#growingup

It was really hard to sleep last night. Mum was annoying me then I just couldn’t relax when I got to bed.  I think some of it is thinking about Jake which I feel guilty about and hormones probably too. I feel guilty a lot for my private feelings and what I do to deal…

All my friends are becoming responsible adults. They're doing all the things I always assumed I'd also be doing by now... progressing in respectable careers... Getting engaged and married to wonderful people whom I adore... Getting mortgages, buying houses... Having babies... More and more often,...

I just miss me. I miss me often. Life is good, but I'm having trouble making decisions that will lead me to a life that matches my values. And I'm afraid that once I get there it will be hard to get back. Logically I know that you can always--at any given moment--start making decisions…

This morning as I stumbled into the bathroom, for some reason I was reminded of when I was little and I used to have to squint when I woke up in the middle of the night or the early morning and faced the daylight (or harsh lamplight). Of course, I still have to do that…

When I was in high school I used to lay in my driveway and cry. I would just stare out at the night sky and cry. When I was twenty I would stand in front of the fridge and just scream into until I was crying, I would close the door and slide down it…

I have such fond memories of this site. I just recently found and read the printouts of my old OD and WOW I was a nightmare asshole in highschool. No more than any other highschooler I think, but still. Its a bit embarrassing how deep I thought I was, when in actuality the only deep…

I'm a runner. It's what I have always done. I'm trying to break the habit, and have made considerable baby steps, but it still remains my first instinct when faced with conflict. It's got to be stopped. If I was a meme, it'd be a photo of me, with captions above it that read: "If…

I wrote a whole entry. I took a while because I was talking to my bf some, texting my friend about "You", researching some made up vacation I want to take, and doing my nightly supplement routine. I guess I got logged out. I hit save, it asked me to log back in and *POOF*…

When I was 14 I had depression. Even as I slept I couldn't see clearly - for years I was blind in my dreams. I used Open Diary to clear my thoughts and improve my vision. This website calmed me on some of my roughest, loneliest days; I hope everybody that needs that solace finds…

  I think this is my fear.   Perhaps losing one's self is impossible. We're always changing and instead of worrying about losing yourself, maybe it's best to focus on embracing the person that is becoming. Letting go of the environment that was and accepting the world that is, along wit...