#youarenotalone

Hi. I haven’t written journal style in a very very long time. I told myself to write. I know I left this place on a very sad and abrupt note. It has been a horrible year + I hesitate to write here because there are ppl that know me here and who hate me now…

   I was very apprehensive about this entry... and joining Open Diary in general, even though I'm under "Anonymously Honest". There's just something about laying it all out there for anyone and everyone to see and the possibility of getting negative reactions/responses. I guess I'm just nervous t...

5:39 pm I'm trying my hardest to be positive right now. It baffles me how someone can change so much so fast. I question myself; has this person always been like this? Am I just now noticing it? I must have been asleep... I guess I'm finally "awake" now. I find myself on the edge…

   I can wake up one morning, sit up in bed and think "Okay, it's a new day... Think positive. Be happy." Then all of a sudden I have a flashback of a memory. One memory leads pushes me down a dark painful rabbit hole. And I'm not even out of the bed yet, my…

I don't know why I'm so anxious about medication and  my body. I'm somewhat educated on disease processes and symptoms of them. I keep lying down and feeling short of breath, I am so depressed that I honestly can only tell you I know that by my (non satisfiable) feeling. I continuously search for...