Two years….. he has loved…

Im at my mom’s and well got access to a puter. While Im waiting for Joey to appear online I decided to sit and tell my OD all about him….

I have much to say about somethings Ive been thinking… I do believe Byron and I are soul mates, but not the way I think I originally believed. Ive been thinking on this a lot and Im at a want to say Joey and I may be, but fear of using the term to much makes me think more on the subject of soul mates. Byron and I are connected, as friends most likely. We are close and know each other well, but I do not think I ever would want to be more with him again. Its a huge emotional ride, and I’d rather not have to do that anymore.

Joey on the other hand…. I met him online two years ago. When I first joined the RP group that I met Byron through. I was 22 and my grandmother had just died. I also brokeup with Doug not to long after all of that. Doug is the second major love of my life. I met Joey I believe in October or so of 1998. He swears to me the first thing I did was tell him I wanted to share a secret with him…. Im a bit of a um… non secret keeper, though I am getting better, I still sometimes cant keep things inside of me. I dunno maybe I knew right off I could trust Joey. Anyway as we became better friends I fell for him very hard… It dawned on me one day to ask how old he was…. he was 15.

I nearly like died. I totally backed off my feelings and remained friends with him, never telling him how I felt. I was 22 he was 15, I could not even think of persuing him in anyway. I left the site for nearly a year and did pass emails back and forth between me and Joey for awhile. But I would say we lost touch a little bit.

When I came back I met Byron and resumed my friendship with Joey. Much with out knowing that Joey had fallen in love with me back in 1998. I had no clue nor did he knnow how I felt about him until ohhhh… May of this year. When all kinds of things came about. I tried denying how I felt, to Byron, to Joey, to like everyone… Then I couldnt. Jealousy won out and I told Joey how I felt and that is when I found out he felt the same way. BUT! I was with Byron…. We know how that all ended and what not soo…

Here I sit. With my heart’s content. I still have to really wait for next July before Joey is 18, but I can do that…….. after all he loved me for two years, I think I can find it easy to wait another year. Of course we have to wait until he goes to college also. We have a lot of things in front of us, hurdles, and we are both taking it one day at a time…. Which is how it should be for now.

I can close my eyes and see myself sitting with him on a porch swing in complete silence. But I recognize the contentment it would make me feel. Not need for him to be near me, but contentment that he is. That is what I see when I think of me with Joey. Contentment, with out any thing in stress…

and he Loved me for two years quietly… That may not be a fairy tale type of romance…. but to me, its a soft romance I did not expect to find.

My heart’s content… For that I can wait a life time, thankfully I wont have too….