Blah feelings

I’ve been dealing with a touch of depression, its the lack of work I think. Nothing to keep me busy. Having trouble even finding the motivation to paint (I do believe the stupid toliet is done leaking, the liquid latex seems to have taken hold).

I lost track of when my periods come (bad thing to do..) so now here I am, I think going through the week before period stuffs, the over driven sex drive, the need to eat all the bloomin time, and salt.. please anything with salt. But I think this might have been going on already :/ Of course since I lost track I have no clue. So of course that puts stress on me worrying about it coming, which it likely will but damn. Stupid me for making me worry any more.

So as the down feelings arrive so do the bad dreams. Angry dreams suprisingly enough, I wonder if when I get depressed part of this is me being internally angry. I’ve got a pychdoc appointment tomorrow, six weeks since the last one, and while I think going every other week helps me keep me taking my mdications regularly, I can’t afford to go that often.

On the job front it looks like I might be getting the better position at the IRS, which means a longer season for work, means more money, better chance of becoming a year round employee, which also means health insurance, and better things. So while I’m struggling a bit with depression I am understanding I have things to look forward to. I hope.

I do want to say that I love my new bathroom, the new fixtures and everything, I should have taken pictures of it before, for the after is fantastic. Once I get it painted I will take pictures and get them up.

Im going to wander away, short entry I know, and full of nothing but blah things.